The day is fourth of June. I, , and are outside the Globe in Stockholm waiting for to come and get us backstage. This summer is going to be the best ever. We are going on tour around the world working with Westlife! Well… with . We are travelling with him in his little van and before every concert we give out flyers. Having us working on tour would be a lot easier than hire people for every town to do this easy job. Anyways, we will get to travel, see a lot and get paid! I mean, could it get any better? The tour had already been going on for a couple of weeks in the UK and the lads were now ready to take on Europe and then UK again and later on Australia.
It all had started the year before when and were at a pub in Glasgow and by rare accident bumped into . They started to chat and had gotten the question to flier before the show the next day and get free tickets to see Westlife. We all did the same thing in Stockholm the week after and had gone out clubbing with the crew and had gotten a lot of good friends, who insisted that we would come with them on next years tour.
So, now we’re here, watching fans lining up outside the entering doors with a good seven hours to go even before the support act would enter the stage.
- Jesus, said, I just can’t believe this is happening. I was going to turn down every summer job this year but… this is just too awesome! She was a great fan of Westlife. We all were, maybe not ready to line up outside in the rain to get a safe spot in the front row but the band had captured our music souls the very first time we saw them live.
- Yes, I said, I have a feeling this summer will be the best we’ve had in a long time. Just when I said that, came sauntering in our direction. We got up to meet him. was a pretty short squab with dark hair and beard. He was from Germany but his English was perfect.
- Hello ladies, he smiled, you ready?
- Hell yeah! We all answered and started to walk behind him.
He gave us some information about tonight. We were going to do our job, maybe have time to watch the show, for free of course, then we would go home and get some sleep and we would be on our way the day after, starting with Copenhagen.
- Let’s go then, he said and opened the doors to the Golden Gate. I turned to my girls.
- Let the story begin.
I passed the last bundle of flyers to a girl with triumph.
- Finito! I hollered and started to dance on the spot but just gave me another bunch of flyers with a grin.
- And you thought you were finished…? He smirked and turned away.
- Oh you, I muttered.
- Come on now ladies, this is the last bundle, let’s keep up the good work, he said.
I started over again and gave at least four flyers to each person so it wouldn’t take that much time.
- Psstt… , he left. I turned around to see gesticulate towards a waste basket. We all smiled and made our way to the basket and dumped our last flyers and went to the arena.
- Hey! Where do you think you are going? We heard behind us and we stopped dead in track. I turned around.
- We’re finished.
We all showed him our empty hands.
- Well done, he said, so what are you waiting for? The show is about to start.
We went into the arena just in time for the light to fade away.
The Globe swam with noise. It was magical. All these people were here for just one reason. The lights from mobile phones, lighters and blinking brightly coloured sticks, hats and other shiny things made the ocean of people look like a night sky filled with living stars. It was like I said, magical. The music started to play and we found some empty seats in the back. sat in front of us clapping her hands. We followed her example and the show started.
The show was amazing. What a party! I want to see it again I caught my self thinking and smiled when I recalled that I was going to. Tomorrow or maybe the day after that.
- So, now what? said. We all looked at each other and made a silent agreement to go have a drink. We got up and followed the course of exited and crying girls like a livestock. When we were finally outside I really longed for that drink. Maybe I should have an Aqwa Smash or a Martini. All of a sudden, ’s cell started to vibrate. She answered with her hand on her left ear to hear better in the noise from the yammering girls that even if the show had been over for the last ten minutes were as exited as they had been during the concert. I smiled at them.
- Hallo, I heard say. Yes. What..? Now?
Her eyes got bigger and she looked at us. The rest of us exchanged confused looks.
- But where are you then! All right all right, we’ll be there; yes we’ll hurry, jeez.
She hung up, turned around and started to run.
- Hey! I called. Where the hell are you going?
- Forget that drink gals, change of plans! She called back over her shoulders. I started to run.
We came to the door where had let us in earlier that day. Only it was not as calm anymore. There were cars and screaming girls all over the place.
- Come on! said and her little figure disappeared in the throng. We followed her.
- Find ! said and also disappeared.
Big vans slowly rolled along and when I had to back not to get steamrolled I saw someone who made me think of , maybe because it was him. He pushed himself through the crazy women into the car. He was obviously in a hurry. He was followed by , and then . had been great tonight; his voice could probably melt diamonds. He had been happy as well. Smiling all the time. I wonder if people ever noticed the wrinkles he got by his eyes when he laughed. They probably did, they are pretty…
- !! A hand grabbed my shoulder. It was ; she pulled me in a different direction. I tried to steel one more glimpse of him but he was gone and the car was about to leave. - Come on! said and pulled.
We found the others by ’s car. He was in the drivers’ seat and had the window down. - I’m sorry gals, he shouted, changed plans, get in, we’re off to the airport.
- What!?
- Get in! He ordered and we flew into the car and he honked the horn.
- Oh these bloody fans… he muttered.
When we were on the road I asked what was going on.
- Well… said much calmer this time. We are off immediately. Things like this almost never happen but the boys were booked for an interview tomorrow and somehow it didn’t reach Louis until recently so we’re off in a hurry. No ones fault, it happens.
I closed my eyes and relaxed in my seat. The music from my iPod flew trough my ears and it didn’t take long before I was asleep. Our luggage had been taken care of when we got to the arena just in case something like this would happen and thank God we did.
I woke up after only an hour by the captain’s voice who told us to put our dorsal back and put on our seat belts. I turned to who snuffed right beside me.
- Wakey pakey, I whispered without any reaction from her.
- Let me take care of this, grinned from the other side of the walk with a mug of water in her hand and in the next moment we all heard a shriek from .
- What the hell was that good for! She crackled and threw an empty goober bag in a laughing ’s direction.
- Please guys, could you at least try to behave, a tired said next to who fell in silence and so did . A few minutes later, we landed in Denmark.
- Come on hurry up, said when we were off the plane.
- We have to be at the hotel in one hour.
I paved my way through many people on my way after the others to the rolling hoop where our bags were. When everyone had their suitcases we grabbed a cab and we were off to our hotel. I couldn’t wait to get into bed.
Chapter2
- What the… I gasped. When we were out of the cab we faced a small musty motel.
- This is your home during these couple of days. simply said and started to walk.
- You think I’m going to sleep in this hovel..! said with a husky newly woken voice. just gave her a look over his shoulder.
- Better get used to this, girls. The lads might live a luxurious life but the crew, that means you, doesn’t get the same treatment. I thought you knew that.
We did. But we didn’t expect this. The place wasn’t much better on the inside.
- Man I don’t give a crap how it looks like; I’m dying of sleep loss here! said and grabbed a key from the receptionist. Everyone went up the dark squeaky stairs. All of a sudden yelled and gave everyone a heart attack.
- Spider! She yelled which made the rest of the girls scream.
- Shut up! Everyone said!
We found our room and went in. Me and my three girls shared one.
- Sleep! out cried and threw herself on one of the beds which wasn’t very clever because one of the legs of the bed was loose and the whole bed broke to the floor. Me, and collapsed in laughter. was too soured to answer and fell asleep.
I was still giggling when I entered the bathroom to brush my teeth.
ANNA
I woke up when someone knocked on the door and I heard ’s voice.
- Morning ladies, ten minutes ‘til breakfast. He said. I opened my eyes and looked around the small room. and were still asleep in a twin bed across the room and Jo was already up putting on her morning make up. I yawned and reached for my mobile, 8.15AM. I pulled the blanket over my head and moaned. Not a wonder why I was tired, we hadn’t been asleep for more than four hours. A pillow hit my head, it was who was sitting upright and looked at me with a tired grin.
- Morning sunshine, she croaked with a smile playing in her blue eyes.
- Mornin’… I said and got up.
- First day at work sisters, how does it feel? said and looked at us in the reflection of the mirror.
We spent the afternoon in a pizzeria after a busy day and recharged for the night. I slurped the last of my Coke.
- Ready for tonight? I asked my friends.
- Yes ma’m, I’m in such a good mood I could flier all night! Jo said and took a large bite of her pizza with chicken, bananas and pineapple.
- Oh great, then you can do ours as well so we can watch the support act. I heard they’re pretty awesome. I mocked. gave me one of her ugliest faces and we laughed.
Right then a car stopped by the road. We recognized it, .
- Man, is it five already? said. We put some money on the table and hurried in to the car.
We took our seats in the little van and drove off. After five minutes we saw the arena rise.
- Crap! broke out and we all jumped. He made a V-turn so we all in the back seat flew around in all directions.
- I forgot the last boxes with flyers at the motel.
- Oh great that place again… mumbled and I arm bowed her ribs.
- We have to drive back to get them, he said and accelerated. BR> - , we’re already late! said from the front seat.
- Yeah yeah, we’ll make it what could possibly go wrong?
- We have to be there in twenty…
- I know! He said and stepped on it.
He stopped short outside the motel and we ran inside to get the last of the boxes. Before we knew it we were on the road again with hustle and bustle. Suddenly we heard a siren behind us. swore loudly and pulled over. and started to laugh sorrowfully while I just closed my eyes and hoped that someone could just save me from this embarrassment.
gave and an angry glance in the driving mirror. The police tapped on the window and we opened it. He told us in Danish that we had driven too fast. looked at us and we translated for him. He just emitted an angry grunt. I leaned over and explained to the police man in my sweetest voice that we were in a big hurry for the show and we just had to be there. I added a charming ‘officer’ at the end. The police just rose an eyebrow and looked at again who tried his best to give him as charming a smile as we gave. The police started to laugh a bit and gave us girls on look each and told us it was okay for this time.
- Oh thank you very much, said .
- We shall never forget it, cooed. hissed to to start the damn car. We all did high five in the back seat and started to relax.
- Well dollies you’re not that worthless after all.
When we were finally at the arena we ran with one box each to the backstage entrance where we met Michael. One of the guys we worked with who was supposed to help us carry the boxes.
- That was about time, he said.
- Not now man, the crowd is probably on its way in and it’s not enough boxes up there. Let’s go. started to walk to the big entrance.
- Where do you think you’re going? Michael said. You said yourself the crowd is on its way in. The guards have enough to do than taking care of us wandering in with these boxes past all those people. It’ll go faster if we just go back stage.
We girls were very glad by that statement. did not like it.
- Mike, we cannot let them in.
- Jack’s in there with the AAA passes, no problems. Come on. He opened the doors and we ran inside.
- Here you go. I stared at the card Jack gave me.
- Is it really a backstage pass? I said fascinated. Jack laughed.
- Welcome to your job. He said and dunked my back. We came in and it was so big. The ceiling must have been six meters up. It was pretty dark and we heard the music stream from the stage far away. opened a door that led us to a naked grey corridor with doors. We hurried through it. All though I couldn’t help but noticing the doors with notes where it stood Dressing Room on.
- Is that what I think it is? I said with a broad grin and raised eyebrows. turned.
- Don’t even think about it missy!
- Oooh, come on, just a quickie. entreated with a sneaky smile on her lips.
- Keep on walking! ordered warningly. Michael just laughed at us.
It wasn’t long ‘til we were on place, ready for the crowd. The crew had been waiting for us until they opened the doors.
I was shaking my hands to get rid of the spasm they had gotten by holding those damn flyers.
- Tired? asked and looked at my hands with a significant face.
- Oh no not at all. Just cannot stop thinking about that Dressing Room sign in the back. The thought of what’s behind kinda turned me on. I joked.
- Thanks for letting me know, said and gave me another bundle of flyers.
Chapter 3
- , can you please take out of my face, she won’t get off it! called to me. I turned around and saw a very amused stand behind a very bothered .
- Sure, I said, hey shall I go and get those last boxes we’ve got? Seems like they’re about to run out again.
- Yes, you know where they are, he said and threw me some keys. I beckoned to follow me.
- Oooohh no no no, I won’t let her go back there, protested.
- I cannot carry all those boxes by my self and besides you wanted her out of your face, I said and just nodded at me. We started to walk back stage again.
- Can’t we just have a sneak… grinned when we passed the dressing rooms.
- No thank you. I don’t really feel like getting kicked off work on our second day for sexual harassment. I said sarcastically and pulled her with me. She laughed.
We ended up in the garage, opened ’s car and got the last couple of boxes and started to run back.
- Hurry up , the crowd will run out on us! I called while we ran through the corridor.
Then suddenly I heard a thump. I stopped dead, turned fast and what I saw was a sight I would never forget. The door had wanted to open so much had opened right in front of her and she had ran right into it. Now she was on the floor with flyers all over the place. And as if that wasn’t enough. There was , , and looking down at her.
I dropped my boxes and ran up to them.
- , shit . Are you okay? I asked worryingly. just stared right through me at the people who stood there all surprised looking down at us.
- Fine… she said and sat up. also sat and patted her on her head.
- We’re so sorry, we didn’t see you. You just came so fast. Are you okay?
The others also sat down and started to pick up the flyers that lay all over the floor.
- Fine… said again and it looked like she did everything in her power to make her head work again.
I on the other hand did everything not to blush while I kneed on the floor scooping up flyers. But when I looked up and saw ’s friendly beautiful face not far from mine, I did. He smiled at me.
- Hello, what’s your name?
We were both on our knees and it was hard for me to stop looking at his face.
- ! I just said and reached out my hand which resulted in me dropping all my flyers. He laughed a little and took my hand.
- Nice to meet you, he said and then helped me picking up my flyers again.
- What were you in such a rush for? asked while he put a bunch in one of the boxes.
- We’re working for . We flier before every show, they were about to run out up there, so we ran down here to get some more. I said.
- Sounds like fun, your job, said.
- I’d prefer yours. I said and felt enough courage to give him one of my flirtiest smiles where I bit my lip and his eyes were stuck in mine for a few moments before came with the last bundle.
- There, I don’t think we have time to help you girls anymore. The crowd is ours now, he smiled.
- Thank you, said, still sitting on her bum on the floor.
- We will see you soon. said and based himself on ’s shoulder when he got up on his feet.
- Bye, we all said and they disappeared.
I looked up at who still sat there with her gaze in the direction the lads had just gone.
- Shit, I’m such a looser; make a perfect fool out of myself like that. I said and gripped ’s arm to help my self up and grabbed one of the boxes.
- We better go back before comes and get us in our eye lashes. I said but didn’t react.
- … are you listening? ! She finally reacted, took one of the boxes without a word and we started to walk without any hurry this time. Like said, the crowd was probably in by now.
- I cannot believe you just met them like that! said while she blow dried her hair.
- It was fate. I joked.
- Right, because it has always been your biggest wish to fall flat by ’s feet. grinned. let out a high laugh. I threw a pillow in her direction and laughed as well.
We heard a discreet knock on the door and without waiting for us to answer, put his head in.
- Please be quiet, we have an early morning tomorrow.
Wednesday came. We woke up early by the loud squall of ’s mobile. She took it without looking up from under her pillow and just tossed it across the room. It landed on ’s head and she gave us a high squeak so we woke up a little more.
- What time is it? I mumbled.
took the mobile she had gotten in her head a few seconds ago.
- Six twenty five, she said and dozed off again.
I rose from the bed and pulled away the curtains. The sun was already shining. It was a wonderful summer morning. I turned to my sleepy friends.
- Now let me see a smile. and just glowered at me, was still fast asleep. I sighed. - Wake her up; we have to meet at seven. I said and started to look for some clothes. followed my lead and got up from her broken bed. Five minutes to seven we were all ready and stood outside our room. The team were already on their way down so we just tagged along. was already downstairs and looked fairly tired himself.
- Morning sunshine, I smiled. He just gave me a tiny smile and turned to the door.
- We’re taking the car to Oslo, said.
called shot gun and the rest of us had to hustle in the back seat with our iPods and magazines. We fell in silence for a while until we became restless and put on the radio. Kevin Lyttle’s old classic Turn me on filled the little car and we told to turn it up. I stood up and put my body through the ceiling whole and danced. and came up after me and we sang along with the song at the top of our lunges. The wind grabbed my hair and I felt so free. Later on we heard a loud honk behind us on the big road. We turned around and lay our eyes on a giant bus. We waved to the driver and made funny faces. It looked like he was laughing at us and called to the back of the bus. All of a sudden, four other faces appeared by the window.
- Is it them? laughed and waved again. ? said something to the driver and the bus accelerated and drove up on our side. It was huge compared to our tiny car. A big window opened and four happy faces stuck out.
I almost fell out of the car when I saw the four lads look at us.
- Shake it! shouted.
We laughed and joked with them for a while until the song switched and a well known voice raved in the speakers.
You make me feel funny when you come around yeah that's what I found out honey. I looked at ! and saw that she was with me. What am I doin without you. Every time during that line in this song, we moon. So we turned around and pulled down our sweat pants and showed off our bums. The whistling, the laughter and the yelling from the bus got a lot louder and we disappeared down in the van again. We looked at each other and burst out into laughter.
- Nice asses, girls!
We carefully stood up again and gave the lads a look just in time their life guard pulled them back inside. We laughed, waved again and sat down.
- All right now we can never meet them again! ! said.
- Oh relax, I said, it was just a bit of fun.
- Poor lads, having your arses on their retinas for the rest of their lives, ! giggled.
- I don’t think they mind. ! said after a long silence and we all laughed again.
I woke up when ! joggled me.
- We’re here.
I looked out the window and saw the streets of Oslo.
- What are the plans for today? I asked and turned to ! and swallowed a yawn.
- Let’s see, it’s almost 4PM so I think you should go get something to eat, then we meet at venue in one and a half hour? Does that sound okay?
- Yes and what about tonight? Are we staying?
- No, we’re straight off to Germany after the show.
- Okay, we’ll see you later then, I said and we went off to find some place to eat.
We found a McDonald’s right by the arena. Michael and Gordon sat by the window feasting on their meals. Michael looked up and said hi. Chapter 4
While the girls went to order for me I sat down with Michael and Gordon.
- So, do you enjoy the trip so far? Michael asked.
- I wouldn’t call it a trip. Early mornings, crappy motels, long distance journeys. I smiled. - Well… Gordon said, looking at Michael and kept on; as we’ve heard you really enjoyed the last long distance journey.
- What are you talking about? I asked all though I kinda knew. They laughed.
- What am I doing without you? Michael sang and I turned red. Gordon kept on;
- Some birds whispered in me ear, they certainly did enjoy their long distance journey this morning.
- Do I dare ask how many birds? I smiled and Michael held up four fingers.
- Well, five with the driver. What were you guys thinking mooning like that?
I just smiled when the girls sat down by us.
We laughed and joked until it was time to go. We had to go around the arena to get to the back stage doors. We passed the queue on the way which was filled with very agog teenagers with Westlife shirts and banners. Gordon told us that the girls in the front had been here for nearly three days. We were astonished by their devotion. We got to the back where there were a lot of cars with people offloading the trucks. picked on me and pointed towards a bunch of men standing by a bus. I recognized them from stage, it was the live band. We started to head for them.
Though I turned around when I heard familiar voices not far from behind me. I saw getting out of a fancy black car. He got attacked by and from both sides. They were having a laugh. I went closer, hiding myself a bit behind a van watching them. went in shaking his head all though I saw him smile a bit about his friends. The others went in as well, except . He turned around and looked directly at me. I choked and didn’t know what to do. There was nothing I could do. He locked me with his gaze. I felt the corners of my mouth pull up and I smiled. He smiled as well and waved, I waved back, shyly, feeling a bit stupid. Dave came out again, said something, grabbed ’s jacket and pulled him with him. resisted for a moment not to break our eye contact but Dave was stronger and disappeared. I blushed from head to toe and hit my head against the car.
- What are you doing? ’s voice snapped me back to reality. I tried to give him an explanation to why I was hiding behind a truck like an idiot, but just gave me an amused look and shook his head.
- Look I have to run some errands so I cannot baby sit you guys right now. I don’t really know what to do, he said.
I was just about to shrug when I saw my girls having a smoke with the live band and I nodded in their direction.
- Oh no, they would never, they have a lot to do, said.
- Yeah, looks like it… ask them, I said and we went over to them. I said hello and gave one of them my hand. He was a huge black man.
- .
- Andrew, he said shaking my hand.
came up to us.
- Hi lads, he said and performed my suggestion. The men just nodded and smiled and was on his way.
A few minutes later we were standing on the floor in front of the stage watching the band retune their instruments. I looked around the empty arena and smiled. In a few hours this place would be filled with people and lights. Suddenly grabbed me and nodded towards the stage. I looked up and I saw and , then on stage and then . His eyes found us and he smiled by recognition and I grinned back, taken off guard by his beautiful smile.
- Hey you there, will you help me up here with this? It was a sound engineer who beckoned us up on stage with a few cables in his hand. I pointed on my self and he nodded. I took by the hand and we went up.
and held the latter when the man made his way up to the ceiling while me and just stood there like fools. I glanced at who stood a few steps away talking to the other lads and didn’t pay much attention to me which right now I was kind of grateful for. He wore a pair of jeans with black sneakers and a casual grey T-shirt. His eyes were on who spoke to him and his profile looked like he was very into the conversation. He was absolutely breathtaking.
- Eeey beautiful, get your sweet mooning ass over here! It was Andrew who called me... loudly. I blushed fiercely when everyone’s attention focused on me. I didn’t dare to look at when I made my way over to Andrew.
- Thanks a lot man, for making a bigger fool out of me than I’ve already managed to! I hissed. He looked at me with his big brown eyes.
- WHAT? I asked.
- Keep staring at him like that and you will make a bigger fool of yourself than I ever will manage to, he whispered. I blushed again and looked away feeling it was no point to try to be innocent this time. I couldn’t believe I had been so indiscrete.
- Good for you is so slow or he’d get it.
- Get what? I asked, honestly confused.
- You fancy him!
- What! Noo! Don’t be silly, it… I said while steeling another look at who I heard laughed at something had said. Andrew rolled his eyes.
- ! Andrew shouted and I looked at him with eyes as big as saucers, begging him with every pore in my body not to embarrass me anymore. walked up to us.
- Andrew, what’s up! said and dunked Andrew in the back.
- You’ve met ? Andrew asked and turned to his guitar again.
was a little taken aback by the sudden question, but he nodded and smiled.
- Sure I have, the mooning girls, he said and it was something in his look that made my legs wobbly. I gave him a goofy smile and tried to come up with something to say but nothing came. Andrew saw this, rolled his eyes again and saved me.
- She just told me she likes your shoes …
gave me a smile and I cursed Andrews’s weak imagination.
- Yeah … they’re nice. I said.
- Thank you! grinned, and seemed oblivious of that this was only a feeble way to save myself out of an awkward situation.
- I got them when I was doing a photo shoot for Nike. I like yours as well. He said.
- I looked down at my black sneakers that looked like the feminine kind of those was wearing.
- Seems like we have the same taste, he winked.
- Apparently … all though these aren’t Nike, these are just some I bought back home. They didn’t cost much, but they’re comfy... and … Are you still talking about shoes …? a voice within me yelled.
- Have you seen the show yet? changed the subject. Thankfully…
- Oh … yes, the first night in Stockholm we saw it. It was brill. I actually cried a bit. You have an amazing voice …
His smile grew bigger and I lost track. He didn’t stop looking at me.
It's time to start the sound check, I heard someone say from somewhere far far away. turned and walked to the centre of the stage. Me on the other hand stood in the exact same position and looked at the spot where he had been standing just as if he was still there. Andrew flicked his fingers in front of my eyes.
- Woman, you should be careful with that look or you’ll burn someone.
- Thanks. And thank you for the introduction … I said smiling sarcastically.
- Yeah, you’re a smooth talker alright. He grinned and dunked me in the back.
I walked away feeling like a perfect dope but still, I couldn’t help but to look at just once more while heading for the stairs, and was surprised that I was met by his eyes and I couldn’t help but to give him one of my best smiles and to my joy he returned it.
The girls who had been chatting with the rest of the guys were also compelled to leave the stage. We sat down and watched the lads do their thing for a while before we went to grab a bite.
A few days later we were on our way to Germany. Bored I popped my feet on the floor. was asleep in the seat next to me and on the other side sat an old lady. I leered at who sat on the other side of the walk with . I tried to catch her attention without any success. I wanted to call to her but I didn’t want to disturb the peace that ran in the air where everyone snoozed or read a book. I got up and went for the loo. When I got there, there was a bunch of people standing there quietly waiting for their turn. I plumped down on an empty seat and looked at the line trying to decide if it was worth it to wait.
- Oh hello, a voice beside me said.
I turned; slightly irritated, wondering who the hell was alert enough to have a conversation with a complete stranger in the middle of the night. My hard face twisted when I saw who it was.
- ! I said and put on a grin.
- What brings you to ’s seat? He asked and raised an eyebrow.
- Sorry, I didn’t know that anyone was sitting here. I stammered getting ready to stand up.
- It’s allright. He is back there and won’t be back for the last five minutes. He said, pointed at the queue and pulled me down again. I sat straight and tried to come up with something to say. It seemed like he struggled with that as well for a while until he said,
- Are you and your friends coming to the after party Friday night?
- Well... we're not invited. I said awkwardly.
- You’re not? ! Wake up your lazy bastard. He called across the walk to a sleeping .
- What? He mumbled
- Do you have any of your tickets left for tomorrow night? asked and turned to me.
- How many?
- Four. I answered. dug through his back pack and fished up four tickets, gave them to and fell asleep again.
- I assume you're all over twenty five. He smiled.
I froze. We weren’t more than 23 all of us. But did I dare telling him the truth? Maybe he would take the tickets back.
- Yeah. I said and tried to sound confident.
- Look who’s back. said and I turned to look at .
- Hi there. said and waved.
- Hi. I smiled and got up.
- I should go back, I think we’re gonna land. I said
- Yeh you do that, it was nice seeing you again. winked.
- You too. I said and waved the tickets and turned to walk away.
Chapter 5
I perked when shook me.
- , we’re in Germany.
- Mm.. I muttered and just wanted to go back so sleep.
- Come on, she said and started to her luggage.
- Can’t we just wait until the plane is empty? I tried one last time.
- , come on!
- All right! I snapped and got up.
- Wow! Which side of the plane did you wake up on? said a amused voice. I turned around and there he was, right in front of me. With shaggy brown hair, stubble, a white jumper and softy pants, he stood there just being gorgeous.
- Ahmm... just came out of me and he laughed.
- Not much sleep for you either yeh?
- No, I said and tried to shake his appearance out of my head and kept on; Sorry, I’m just not a morning person.
- That makes two of us. He smiled and went past me without another word. I wanted to run my head through a wall.
- Good morning sunshine, grinned at me. I just gave him a sour groan. We came out with most of the team and the band. You might think that an airport would be quite calm at this early hour but nooo. My mood didn’t really lighten when at least ten young loud girls ran past us and almost threw them self on the guys.
- I think I have something that might cheer you up, chica’s. smiled.
- What, asked and started to go through her bag and showed us four little notes. grabbed them and read them out loud.
- You're invited to the Westlife tour after show party; you're now on the VIP list!
- Yeeehh! smiled proudly.
- How did you get these? asked.
- invited us. said.
So Friday came along and the day passed. We had two hours off before the show so we spent them in the city, shopping for the night. When we got back we put our bags in the van so could drive them back to out motel while we watched the show. Dave helped us trail.
- What the hell did you buy? Rocks?
- What are you going to wear? asked me while handing at least thirty flyers to a little girl.
- You’ll see, I smiled and thought about the very expensive dress I had bought.
The evening came and we got too anxious by the end of the show that we decided to go back to the motel to make our selves acceptable for the night.
wore a hot black dress and high boots that made her much taller than her 5.3. Her dark hair was in two braids and she had a black necklace.
had a light blue top which didn’t hide much of her big boobs. Her long thick hair went down her back. She had a tiny skirt and high heels.
was dressed in a dark suit jacket with a lot of necklaces that went down her deep cleavage. She had Dust It in her hair and made half of it up in a tuft while the rest of it went down her back. She had black shorts with heels.
I had gone for the dress. A lilac/silvery short one with soft material, the neckline stopped below my clavicle and showed my bare back, shoulders and arms. It left some of my back and both my legs bare. I had bought a couple of white sandals and earrings that matched my dress.
My long hair was out and I had worked hard to give it some extra volume and curls. I was very satisfied when I looked at my reflection before we left the room for the hotel and the party.
I held my ticket hard and shuddered, despite the warm summer night. The line almost didn’t move at all. I didn’t get the best feeling out of it. When we finally made our way to the guard he wanted to see our ID’s.
Shit! I though and saw my friends start looking for their driving licences. I tried to make them stop while trying to tell the guard we had forgotten them.
- But I swear we’re all twenty five!
- I'm sorry ladies, without identification I can't let you in. I swore and didn’t want to turn to face my friend’s disappointment.
- Hey girls! I turned and watched Dave stand in the door way looking at the guard nodding. He stepped aside and let us in.
- Shit, I was nervous there for a moment! said.
Dave led us into a private room where we recognized most of the people. A waiter came up to us with a salver full of champagne. I shot a nervous glance in ’s direction. must have seen it because he patted me friendly on the shoulder and gave me a glass.
- Don’t worry, it’s for free. I nodded gratefully at him.
The following hours the glasses were filled and emptied all the time. had flipped rather hearty. The shy little who had devoted the first hour sitting quietly on a couch, sipping Crystal and steeling glimpses at from time to time was now completely vanished. Now she was up on the dance floor tempt-dancing and the person she had given her longing attention on a distance now gave her his. I smiled at that, leaned backward in the couch and looked around. sat and had a loud conversation with . had a tequila race with and some other blokes. I didn’t see . I searched for him and didn’t notice when the party music switched to some calmer keys. My eyes still hadn’t found him so I closed them for a while.
- You cannot sit here all night. I opened my eyes again and there he was wearing a white slim shirt with perfect fitting light jeans and suspenders. Wow I thought and saw his outreached hand.
- Care to join me on the dance floor? He grinned and I didn’t wait to put my hand in his and let him lead me out on the floor. It was almost only him and me there. I leaned my head against his shoulder and followed the rhythm. His hand burned against my hip and I forgot the rest of the world for a while and let the wonderful voice of Ronan fill the room.
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you’ll give fate a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
For a start I had only felt awkward and not amused at all. didn’t notice me and it bothered me that it bothered me and that I just didn’t have the courage to walk up to him when he stood in the centre of a meiny, making a point. I tried not to care about him but it was hard, very hard. He had black suit trousers with a belt and a grey shirt with three buttons unbuttoned. He was unbelievably good looking.
- Hi. I heard a voice over me. It was a man, a very feminine looking man. He had pretty long brown shiny hair and a black tight sweater. He had piercings in his eyebrow and his ear and a deep cut neckline.
- Oh my God, you look so abandoned, he said.
I just smiled and he reached out his hand.
- I’m Micha, working in the wardrobe with Sarah and Claudia over there. He pointed at two girls by a table and they waved at me.
- Come have a drink with us, pretty please, you seem so lonely. He asked, but before I could even answer he had pulled me on me feet and over to his girlfriends. I wondered why they had been so keen to have me by their table.
- We noticed the way you dress and I just have to say that thing is fabulous!
I felt my nervousness disappear and sat with my three new friends chatting and drinking and totally forgot about the mousy feeling I had had in the beginning. After a while I started to feel the alcohol spread and I felt warm and happy.
- I wanna dance! I shouted and dragged them with me and we started to dance as sexy as we could with all those drinks in our bodies. After at least five songs I started to sweat and I felt for another drink.
- I need a drink, I shouted to the others; they nodded and kept on dancing. I went to the couch where I had been all awkward in the beginning. I saw , and sit there having a laugh and I flumped myself right next to . He turned to look at me.
- Oh jeez, I’m so hot! I said and put my head back letting the heat take over me. It felt good. - Yes you are, said. I turned to him and tried to give him a sexy look. But I just felt the sweat in my hairline and thought of how unsexy I must be right now and looked away. Man, can’t I do anything right in front of this guy?
I looked at him again and noticed that his gaze hadn’t left me. It took me by surprise. Quickly he broke our contact and gave me a glass and filled it with champagne.
I thanked him and took a sip. The music turned calmer and a Ronan Keating song filled the room. I saw and on the dance floor.
- They seem to be having a good time. smiled. I nodded and started a conversation with him, a much easier one this time. It felt so good to finally talk to him and get to know him better. He was so confident and laid back and made me feel comfortable while talking to him. When he was in the middle of a funny story about one time he had fallen off the stage, and came up to us, drunk and happy.
- We’re going up to the room to play a game. yelled.
- Well… have fun. Use protection. said and turned to me again with a laugh and I laughed with him.
- No! yelled again so both mine and ’s ears were ringing.
- All of us! We’re gonna play truth or dare!
- What? and I said in chorus.
- Yeah, come on. said and they ran over to bug and . I leaned back and waited for a reaction from . He turned to look at me as if he was waiting for a reaction from me. I started to smile and he smiled back and took my hand and we catched up with the others. All eight of us made our way to the elevators. When we got there, stopped short and got pale.
- Not now man! yelled. Just get your arse in here.
just shook his head.
- He’s scared of elevators, murmured in my ear.
- Aww honey, I’ll take the stairs with you! I blurted and went out to him. He was just so cute.
- Thanks , said gratefully.
I should never have offered. Westlife’s suite was on the top and eleventh floor… When we got up almost ten minutes later I had trouble breathing.
- Shit, you really have to cure your phobia about lifts! I panted. We knocked on the door and let us in. They had put all the pillows and blankets on the floor into a circle around a bottle.
- … I started but she just shushed me. Everyone sat down and spun the bottle.
- So, , said and tapped her fingers on the floor. pretended to look afraid and hid himself behind .
- Truth or dare?
- Truth, he answered fast. Everyone moaned and booed.
- Allright, she said, when was the last time you snogged someone
- Ohh that was an easy one, in the bar downstairs not ten minutes ago. said and grabbed the bottle and spun it. It pointed at , he chose truth as well and put on a wicked face.
- Then choose between wearing a dress in public or put on a silly voice through a whole important interview.
- What, you're mad? laughed but thought about it for a while.
- Well I always thought I would be an exemplary female, so I'll go for the dress.
- That sounds interesting. I grinned.
The bottle spun again and this time it pointed at who also said truth.
- Now … said. Who do you rate like the most attractive person in this room? scratched his head.
- Well defo you with that dress on. He smiled.
- Yeah , save your compliments, who is it? said.
- It’s , without a doubt. said simply nodding in her direction.
I had never seen her smile like she did at this moment without breaking her eye contact with him. The room went quiet.
- Leeets continue. said loudly. Or! Let’s play another version of this little game.
- And the difference is…? I asked.
- You spin the magic bottle and the one it points at, you have to kiss.
Chapter 6
I jerked when had said kiss. I looked around and noticed that everyone was in.
- Who wants to start? asked.
- I do! said quickly.
Everyone laughed. She pretended to spit three times on the bottle and spun it. It pointed at . We all started to shout and whistle when made her way over to and put her lips on his which turned into a drunken smooch. She crawled back to her spot on the floor. spun the bottle and it pointed at . She jubilated and threw her self in his arms. spun the bottle and it pointed at me. The lads started to holler loudly while got up and kissed me fast. I rolled my eyes and smiled when the guys whistled even louder when it was my turn and the stupid bottle pointed at . I groaned and gave her a kiss, a little longer than ’s to satisfy the boys. ’s turn came and she was lucky. She made her way over to who relaxed leaned back against the bed. They shared a light long hot kiss and after that she sat beside him. She looked a little bothered when he spun the bottle, but eased up when she saw who it pointed at; on the other hand did not.
- No way in hell!! Forget it.
- Hey heey, I kissed two girls already. I said.
who was a little more open minded sat on his knees and grabbed ’s shoulder and pulled him into a kiss which both of them looked rather disgusted after. scoffed at them.
- That was nasty, man! He laughed.
- Well, , said, you haven’t kissed anyone. stopped laughing.
- And , you haven't kissed anyone of the guys, only girls, which is not fair do you think? added and made everyone agree out loud.
- Maybe we shall end this game with a final innocent kiss then, smiled.
I looked shyly in ’s direction where he sat all comfy in a chair. He met my gaze and I asked him with my eyes if it was okay for him. He smiled, that was my answer.
Everyone started to whistle and hoop again as I rose from my spot on the floor. He still sat in the arm chair watching me walk over to him with a grin on his face. I gracefully managed to walk over pillows, bottles and legs until I stood in front of his sitting figure. He looked up at me. I put my hand on his shoulder and got down on my knees between his legs and faced him. We were really close now. And I had to fight myself not to start shaking. He pulled his fingers through my hair, and gently put it behind my ear. He leaned in and I closed my eyes and welcomed him with all my heart. The kiss didn’t come at first though. He placed his lips by my ear, still holding a soft grip on my hair. I felt his breath on my skin and I shivered. I heard him speak, so quietly that no one heard it but me.
- You are the most beautiful person in every single room of the world.
I gasped for breath, surprised and overwhelmed by loving feelings for this man. The man that was so close that his nose tip touched mine. I opened my eyes slightly and looked into his eyes that looked directly back into mine. He didn’t wait any longer. His hold of my neck got firm and he kissed me. My hands had all the time been numb but now they worked their way up. One grabbed his collar and pulled him closer to me while the other intensely caressed his hair. He put his arm around my body and pulled me even closer. I felt his tongue on my lips and I immediately separated them to let his tongue enter. It was warm and tasted sweet. I got hotter and hotter and weaker and weaker. I was glad he had such a strong grip of me, otherwise I would have collapsed right there on the floor. We carefully finished the kiss but he held me as close as before. I let my hand let go of his hair to caress his cheek and he smiled slightly while letting his hand stroke my arm. The butterflies made me dizzy but I smiled back. He loosened his grip and I sank to the floor. It was like something had left me when he let go of me. I crawled over to a pillow not far from him holding my chilling arms not letting him see my face.
We all had been sitting there quietly watching and kiss each other like there was no tomorrow. crawled back to her pillow after had let go of her looking like a lost little girl. I looked at who watched her with an expression in his face that told me that he had been at least as affected as her by that kiss.
- Anyone wants a drink? said loudly breaking the intense silence which made everyone jump. had left his arm chair so I stole his spot. It was warm and it made me dozy. The others sat on the floor disporting with a deck of cards. tried to explain the rules to Hey Jack to the guys since the girls already knew the game. I put my glass down and rubbed my head.
- Come on . said and made some space beside her.
- No that’s okay, I’ll just stay here and watch, I said.
- Come on , said.
- No , it's your fault I've been drinking waaay too much, I laughed.
- You mind if I do you company? I looked up at .
- Not at all, I sniggered and made some space. He cuddled up beside me and kissed my neck, the night couldn’t possibly get any better!
A few hours later
- , your phone rings. I opened my eyes and catched it when tossed it to me.
- Yeh, I mumbled…
- Where the fuck are you!?! It was a very angry on the other line.
In one second I was wide awake.
- Okay man; take it easy, I tried.
- Easy... easy?! Do you really think I can be easy when our plane leaves in two hours? How dare you tell me to take it easy! He yelled and I pulled the phone from my ear to not loose my hearing. I looked at the time and saw that it was almost twelve. I flew up from the bed.
- We're coming as fast as we can!
- You better, I've already packed your bags, he said in hung up in my ear.
- What’s wrong? asked from his side of the bed.
- We overslept; I answered and started to yell the girls’ names.
- The plane is taking off in two hours!
- It what! bursted and sat up way too fast in the couch where she had fallen asleep next to . She held her head while standing up trying to find her shoes. A newly awoken rested on his elbows watching her whirr around with an amused look on his face.
- Look , Oberhausen is just four hours away from here; can't you come with us in the bus?
- Are you sure we can do that? I asked seeing stumble around like Bambi on ice looking for her other shoe, her hair was a mess. and were still fast asleep on each side of in a huge bed. I knew we would never be at the airport in time. I sighed and chuckled and nodded at me while handing her shoe from under the couch. I called who had calmed down and thought it was a good idea for us to go with the lads.
Us girls took a cab for a couple of miles not to awoke any unnecessary rumours which would most likely take form if we came out from the hotel with clothes from the night before and enter the tour bus. So we decided to jump on a few miles ahead. I looked out the window, having one and one person only on my mind. snapped me out of my thoughts when she asked:
- Did you have a good time yesterday?
and didn’t hear us. They were in a loud conversation of something did last night.
- Yes. I answered a little absent.
Flashback
Two hours after our kiss people started to doze off. We had played two sections of Hey Jack which had been very popular. Then me, and sat in the big couch and had conversations about everything. Me and had somewhere in all those conversations lain down next to each other with sitting under our legs. When the lights one by one faded I felt tired and by the end I just mumbled when the lads asked me something. I felt a thick sheet on my body and I assumed tucked us in. I smiled by the fact that still was beside me. I floated somewhere between sleep and reality when I felt his lips softly stroke mine. I moaned quietly with pleasure and moved closer to him. I opened my eyes slightly; he was on his side watching me and gave me a crooked smile when I met his gaze. He put his arm under my head and came even closer and we fell asleep with our faces only inches apart. He held me for the rest of the night and it was the best sleep I had ever had in my life.
End of flashback
We waited for ten minutes before the bus came around the corner. The doors opened and welcomed us on board. We greeted the driver and went back. It was so luxury. The bus had two floors. The ground floor had two rooms with couches, a TV, movies, tables and a cocktail cabinet. The upper floor had all the beds and a bathroom. I came down the stairs and was met by . He had changed into casual jeans, a T-shirt with a print on it and a sweatshirt. He held my hand to help me down the last steps.
- Are you cold? He asked and before I could answer he had put his sweatshirt around my shoulders. I was grateful. The tiny dress I was wearing didn’t give much warmth. And my heels didn’t really give much stability so when the bus started I lost my balance but caught me. I couldn’t help but looking at him and the same old silence came over us as soon as his gaze met mine.
sat with by a table and , , and sat by another and amused themselves by looking at ’s face that could turn into the most hideous grimaces. She acted all retarded and threw herself over who bursted in laughter. sat down and there was no more room for me so I simply went to sit by ’s and ’s table. I didn’t come very far because ’s hand grabbed the shirt he had borrowed me and pull me onto his lap.
- What's wrong? I asked but he just turned his head and remained silent. I got mad at myself, what did I expect? I heard the others laugh behind me and I got up and went to sit by them. dropped a face.
- Everything okay? I just nodded and smiled.
- What’s up with ? whispered.
- Nothing. Maybe tired.
- Well in that case we’ll make him feel better! said and warped her face in another ugly grimace and made her way over to .
- Now give big momma a kiss, she said with a mannered bass in her voice and pouted her lips. He looked up at her and gave her a crooked smile.
- You’re mad .
- I know, she answered and pulled him up on his feet.
- Now you have to be social with your guests.
She pushed him down on a spot next to me. He didn’t look at me and I cursed my self for letting him make me think something last night.
- Anything to eat anyone? suddenly said and without waiting for an answer he reached out for a bag of chips and put it on the table. opened it. Everyone took one and turned his head to .
- You want one?
She nodded and probably expected him to reach for the bag again so she could grab some but instead he put one chips half on his tongue and leaned in with a flirty look in his eyes. She hesitated for a moment but then took the other half from his mouth with her own. Soon the bus slowed down and we were in Oberhausen.
We went off the bus. It was a warm summer day outside. I searched with my eyes for .
- … ! called for me and I turned to look at him. See you later.
- Where are you going? I called back
- We have to make some interviews but we’ll be back, I‘ll look for you.
- Right, catch you later. I said.
He smiled at me and put on his sunglasses and disappeared into a car. He left me in wonder. I had noticed the ring on his finger. I had no idea about his private life or how his relationship with her was. It was none of my business, or was it? Maybe I shouldn’t hope for too much. Maybe all this just were a game to him. Maybe I should end this before it gets any worse. I’ve got pride you know; yeah I’m not that easy. Maybe I should show him I’m not what he thinks I am. Yeah I’ll show him! I thought and didn’t notice looking at me at first but when I did I caught myself standing there with a determined look on my face while sniffing ’s shirt. I immediately stopped and went to get changed.
We didn’t watch the show that night. Instead we went out to have dinner at a local restaurant near out motel. After a while the music got louder and people made their ways to the bar. We ordered four beers and kept on talking.
Suddenly I felt my pocket vibrate. I didn’t recognize the number. I gave my girls a confused look and answered.
- .
- Hey you it’s me.
My heart stopped for a second.
- ? I said and got six very big eyes aimed on me.
- How did you get my number? I asked.
- Well… I hunted out and… or I mean, not really hunted out, I just… where are you?
- We’re at a bar, Zum Uergie-Treff. We had dinner here.
- Didn’t you watch the show? He asked and I could hear a slight disappointment in his voice.
- No.
- Well… can we come over, me and the lads? If that’s okay with you!
- Yes, of course it is. I said and couldn’t help but smile, he was just adorable.
- We’ll be there in fifteen minutes. He said.
We said our goodbyes and hung up. I put my phone back in my pocket and simply took a sip of my drink. The girls didn’t stop staring at me.
- And what was that all about? asked.
- It was , they’re coming over. I said and tried to sound nonchalant.
The girls were delighted by the news, but I just felt a big rock of nervousness in my belly.
- Moment of truth. I mumbled.
- What? asked but I just dismissively shook my head.
As soon as I saw enter the bar I felt a pounding heart in my throat.
- Hi, he just said and I said the same. Everyone sat down except and . had gotten up and led to the bar. They stood really close talking to each other. put his fingers under my chin and gave me a concerned look.
- What’s wrong? He asked, I looked at him and suddenly I felt strong. I knew he was married and our behaviour yesterday, snuggling in the arm chair hadn’t really been truthful.
- Don’t mind my wife, . He said when Id finished my point.
- Last night was not really innocent, I murmured.
- Look, , what do you want me to do? Do you really think I can take out divorce for every single girl I meet?
I got up fiercely and paved my way to the bar to find . Maybe she had gotten the same reaction from . When I reached them, everyone could tell that they were nearly unable to tear loose from each other. My first reaction was to walk up to them, but why bother? I made my way for the exit. The words rang through my head do you really think I can take out divorce for every single girl I meet.
When I was on my way to our motel a few blocks away I heard run up to me. She didn’t say a word but I could tell she was a bit shaken as well. We leaned on each other all the way to our room where we silently got dressed for bed and fell asleep.
Not that long after I had fallen asleep, my alarm went off. was already up getting dressed.
- Was I a complete idiot bringing it up with him? I asked her knowing she got what I meant.
- Maybe, I don’t know. Nothing really happened. We were all drunk. I almost brought it up with . I didn’t though. But I managed somehow to put us in an even worse situation.
- What do you mean worse? , you want to be in this situation with him!
She just gave me a look in the mirror that uncovered her mask for a while which showed me I was right. But she put on her poker face fast enough and kept on fixing her long hair.
- Don’t think about it and please stop what you’re doing. You’re making me nuts.
I caught myself patting my fingers on the bed frame. I got up and pulled my suitcase out from under my bed. I watched to see what she had put on.
- Wow, how come the outfit? I asked when I saw her pretty summer dress.
Her hair was long and light and fell down her back in the curls she was working on. sighed.
- I’m only human… she said.
Well aware that we were going to take the same flight as the boys, I started to rake up some fine clothes.
My evening with didn’t really turn out more successful than ’s. When the guys arrived I had gotten up to meet , we said our hellos and I took him by the hand and led him to the bar. He had casual jeans on and a white sweater that sat oh so perfect.
- What’s the matter? You sounded a bit short on the phone. He wondered.
Suddenly I felt stupid. He didn’t seem to understand. Then why the hell should I? Nothing really happened last night. The kiss, it was just a game. Spin the bottle. It’s a game. We had fallen asleep together. Innocently. Why did I have to start pissing around?
- Hellooo? ’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I met his inquisitive look.
- Did you want something? He asked me.
- Oh well… I stammered.
Now I felt even sillier and didn’t come up with anything else than:
- I was ordering a drink and I just thought you could join me.
- Oh! Okay, so what do you want?
- Huh?
- To drink! He laughed at me now.
- Oh, sorry, yeah I just… a beer.
He ordered two beers and put his eyes on me once more.
- Sure you didn’t want anything?
Yeah, you!
- Ahmm, noo, not really. I forgot your sweater at the motel, sorry, I’ll bring it tomorrow.
- That’s okay. This is on me. He said and turned to pay the bartender.
I tried to force pictures from last night out of my mind. The club, the kiss, the talking, the couch, the jacket, his eyes, his hands, his words, and his appearance right now, man, I could just…
- Seriously , what are you thinking about? I winced again and was just about to explain away when he said:
- You were thinking about last night, weren’t you?
He took me off guard but I was going to be as forward as he was.
- Yes. I just said.
- So am I. It was brilliant, fun.
- Yes… fun. I said but fun wasn’t really the exact word I would use to describe yesterday.
- I really enjoyed it. said and took a step closer with a look in his eyes that completely captured mine. I couldn’t move. His eyes were dark and intense, he took another step.
In the corner of my eye I saw stand there watching us. It made me grab on to reality and pull my self back to my senses.
- I got to go. I mumbled and took my bag.
- What? Wait! Why? He blurted and grabbed my arm.
- … I started and pointed at the door where she had gone. started to pull me towards him. I had a second of weakness and let him do so.
- Were you enjoying it as much as I did?
I let down my gaze and nodded.
- See that is probably why I have to leave, I said. He frowned and loosened his grip.
- I’ll see you tomorrow. I said and forced away all the urges to throw my self into his arms and kiss him with all the burning passion that I had built up for him since our kiss last night. I went for the door after while I cursed my self for the rest of my life.
Now it was the day after and we met in the lobby and went for the car. At the airport I felt a little unease. I wasn’t really ready to deal with yet. The lads were surrounded by a bunch of fans though so we went for the check-in which gave me some more time to round some courage to face him later on. When we got in we wandered around Tax Free.
- So, what happened with you two yesterday? asked.
- We went back. I answered.
- Why? You and both looked all smitten by the bar. Why the hell would you leave?
- I couldn’t let go back by her self now could I? I snapped and went to the perfume area. I found my favourite perfume from Dior. I smelled it and didn’t notice when approached.
- I love your dress.
I saw him in the little mirror in front of me.
- Hi. I said without turning around. He took a step closer and looked at me in the mirror.
- About yesterday … he started.
- Yes? I said and turned around. He looked troubled and it hurt me.
- I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable. Guess I got carried away. Like I said , you’re a very beautiful girl.
Five thousand crazy butterflies were getting about in my stomach and I blushed.
- Thanks. So are you… I mean… beautiful, not a girl.
- Thank you. Why don’t we start from the beginning? Friends?
He reached out his hand.
- Friends. I murmured and took his hand.
He smiled and took the little bottle from me and scented it.
- Smells great, he said giving it back.
- I know I adore it. I said longingly and put it on the shell.
- You’re not buying it? He asked when I started to walk away. I laughed.
- That, my friend will cost me a monthly wage. Come on let’s go. I said.
- You go, I’m coming. He said and started to walk off to the men’s department.
I shrugged and went back to the others.
Even if my head hurt by tiredness, I couldn’t fall asleep. The booming from the aero engines was so loud. I turned up the music in my iPod when felt a hand on my shoulder.
- Uuhh… I groaned.
- You want anything to drink? asked and nodded towards a stewardess.
- No thanks. I said and put my earpiece on again. He pulled them off.
- Hey… what’s up?
- Nothing, I’m tired. I said.
- No I can see something is wrong, please tell me, you can't go around, looking like a dying fish at work.
I kept silent but he refused to give in. I leaked to my side where , , and laughed at something. A little bit further away and sat also in the middle of a fun conversation. Good for them at least they got out of the situation smoothly.
My gaze wandered further back in the plane and I found fast asleep on Dave’s shoulder. I couldn’t help but smile. I had gotten upset for nothing, as usual. And now we didn’t speak. I sighed.
- I see. I heard say and I blushed.
- Try not to think about it. We will have a great time in Holland!
A couple of hours later I jumped on to the bed in our room. It was simple but actually very nice. and shared a room while I and shared one.
- Oh ! You just have to see this. I heard from the bathroom. I got up and went into the bathroom.
- A bathtub! She glinted. I’m so gonna take a bath!
- You do that, we’ve got the night off. I think I’m gonna catch up on some sleep.
Chapter 7
I closed my eyes and enjoyed the scent of lavender from the foam. I thought of what we were going to do tonight. I’d seen a cute pub in our lobby. Perhaps we could call the boys. You know, get a new fresh start on our friendship I thought sarcastically.
I smiled when I saw myself meeting him smelling like lavender and have nice clothes on.
I got out of the tub an hour later and went out to . She slept with her face to the wall.
- . I tried.
- Mmmm...
- I thought we could call the lads and see what they’re doing tonight. What do you say?
- Mmmm, she said again.
- !
- What!
- Why don’t we just hang out and try to have a good time? and I are starting over. That might work for you and as well.
nodded mildly.
- I guess you’re right.
- Good! I said. But if you look like that I don’t want you with me. Get your ass into the tub and I’ll call .
plodded into the bathroom and I picked up my phone with sweaty hands. I speed dialled his number and after three signals I heard his voice.
- . - Hey mate... It’s . I said and tried to sound cool.
- Hey you. What’s up?
- Not much, what about you?
- We don’t know yet, we’re too tired to go out.
- Would you like to spend the night at our motel? I asked. grinned on the other side.
- What did you have in mind…?
I closed my eyes and catched my breath.
- Stop it. I said but gave him a laugh to tell him and didn’t really mind him saying that.
- I found a cute bar in our lobby, maybe we all could chill out and spend the evening there? I said.
- That sounds brilliant, he said.
- Great. Let’s talk to the others and keep in touch.
With that we ended the call and I collapsed on my bed with a moan. Why did he have to make things so damn hard!
After talking to my girls and called to set a time, we started to get dressed. I wore jeans and a black T-shirt and had my hair in a high pony tail, casual. When we came down there was barely anyone there. The bar tender stood by the bar speaking on the phone. It was a relaxed light and a jukebox that played soft jazz.
After ten minutes I saw them enter the door from my spot in the couch. He looked better than ever in the weak light. I sighed deeply before standing up to greet them with hugs.
sat next to and said something in her ear that made her laugh. sat next to me in the couch and started a conversation with me.
The hours flew by and we had been talking crisscross non stop. In some way I had switched place and now sat on a foot stool in front of , talking to him.
- I have something for you, he said later on and took a pink little packet from behind his back. I just wanted to shout out with joy!
- ! You didn’t have to... what is it?
- Don’t open it just yet; wait until you’re in your room.
- Well, okay, thank you! I said and put the pink packet in my purse.
- My God, how did you manage to bring that in here without me noticing anyway? You don’t have a bag or anything! I said and he smiled.
- Well, I got some help from the lads. We sort of switched it behind our backs while saying hello to you.
I laughed.
- That is so sweet. You didn’t have to do that!
- Maybe not, but otherwise it wouldn’t have been a surprise now would it?
- Oh ! I said overwhelmed with joy and reached out my hand to touch his cheek but came around and instead just mately patted his shoulder.
At one o’clock yawned and said goodnight.
- Well, said, I think it’s time for all of us. We agreed and said goodnight.
When we were up in our room and turned off the lights I just laid there, waiting for to fall asleep. I waited impatiently for forty minutes. I wanted to do this by my self not knowing what kind of crazy emotions that would blow up in me. I sat up and took my mobile light to see better when I dug around my bag.
I waited for a second before I carefully opened it. Inside there was a small box. I opened it. The perfume. The very expensive perfume I had been looking at in Tax Free. He had bought it for me! I felt warmth fill my body and tears fill my eyes. I picked it up and found a small note on the bottle neck.
You’re amazing. I’m glad I get to be your friend. x
The tears started to run down my face, I read the note probably fifty times before putting it back in my bag and laid down. I shook my head. Sorry babe, but it’s too late for me just being your friend.
I sat down by the breakfast table. We had been in Holland for three days and this was our last one. Tomorrow we would leave.
- So what’s up for today then? asked and took a bite of her newly baked French roll. - Sleep! and said and laughed. We had been out almost every night. We hadn’t seen the guys much though since they had been busy working. I drank the last of my juice and stretched.
- Have you ever heard of Amsterdam and its shops? If someone would like to come I’m gonna head for them. quickly said yes and one hour later we were lost in Amsterdam.
- Let me see that! said and snatched away the map from my hands.
- Are you completely zero in your head? You’re holding it upside down!
- Well excuse me! I said and leaned against a lamp post. grabbed my arm.
- Now I know where we’re going. I ran after her into a small alley.
- So this is supposed to be the biggest shopping street of Amsterdam then…? I said sarcastically and watched the scabby buildings torn up on each side of the narrow road. We walked for ten minutes and then the shopping street came as a vision in front of our eyes.
- How does it feel to be right for once? I asked and dunked in the back.
- Hey, be glad I lead us here and not to China where we would have been right now if we’d follow you. Ohh!
She pulled me to a shop front.
- Have you ever seen anything prettier? She said and pointed at a tiny blue top.
- Let’s go inside.
- Gosh I’m exhausted. I gasped a few hours later and put down my shopping bags and rubbed my back. Suddenly my phone rang.
- .
- Hi it’s !
I gesticulated towards and she put her ear close to hear.
- Hey , what’s up?
- We heard you and were out doing town. We just thought if you would care to join us for lunch? I looked at who mimed ‘us’?
- Who are ‘us’? I asked
- Me and of course.
We sat down at a pretty restaurant and waited for the guys to come join us. They showed up not long after we had arrived. When we all sat around the table and had established that everyone was fine and had had a great time in Holland asked:
- So what did you get?
Me and just grinned and gesticulated towards our shopping bags.
We had at least seven each.
- Okay, laughed . Then show us your best bargain.
I knew exactly what mine was and quickly found my blue top.
- Wow! They both broke out and I giggled.
- , promise me you’ll wear that top next time I see you. said.
- Promise, I winked just in time for our food to come.
We had a great time during lunch and when we were finished and worked on what was left of our drinks; leaned over next to me and smelled my neck.
- You’re wearing it.
I knew he referred to the perfume. I threw a quick glance at and on the other side of the table who were in the middle of a conversation of their own and didn’t notice what was happening on our side. I turned to again and smiled.
- Of course, I love it. Thank you again.
His face was just inches away from mine and it looked like he was going to lean in but instead he pulled back with a sigh. He took a sip of his beer. He was troubled. He always got that little stripe between his eyebrows when he was…
- ! ’s voice disturbed my thoughts.
- We’re leaving now and I guess you want to join.
- Yeh… sure, I fumbled and grabbed my bags. We took a cab back to the venue. We left all our bags in one of the buses and followed the boys backstage.
- Let’s see where the others are. suggested and we went down the corridor to their dressing rooms. We found and with their noses deeply buried into a couple of magazines which they quickly sat on when they saw us enter.
- Ehh, heeey girls. What are you doing here? said and smiled nervously.
- Whatcha readin’? grinned.
- Nothing. He said innocently.
threw herself on top of him and managed to take the magazine. PlayBoy. We laughed.
- Just… put that away. said.
- Ohh but I think I saw some kind of rag in your hands as well, . I said and took the paper from him before he could react.
- Jeez, don’t you have enough of turned on girls in the crowd? I asked riffling through it. was now as red as a fire truck trying to take it back. and sat down in another couch laughing. ran after .
- Give it back! It’s not funny!
- ’What makes her raaaaaaandy’! She read and laughed mockinly.
- That’s enough! said and tried to catch me but I jumped behind the couch where and sat.
- Paris Hilton’s best sex positions… God when do we get the fun stuff? I said.
- Like what? asked and turned to me.
- You know… I smiled and pressed my tongue against my cheek.
- Alright, that’s enough! laughed, grabbed me and pulled me into the couch and tried to rip the magazine from me. I fought him and he started to tickle me until I begged him for mercy. kept on reading and pretended to be a dirty old man. She sounded so hilarious that even started to laugh hard.
I tried to get up from the couch but pushed me down again until I almost was under him. had gotten up to chase around the room so we had the whole couch to ourselves.
- Where do you think you are going? asked me.
- Nowhere if you don’t want me to. I winked. He helped me to sit up straight and put an arm around me. saw his chance and grabbed the magazine.
- Run Forest! I side slipped out the corridor with after me.
- Catch me if you can! I yelled behind me and waved the porno rag in my hand. I flew over a box on the floor and ran into another room.
- Got you. sneered and forced me into a corner.
I got up on my toes so he couldn’t take it. He found a water hose on the floor.
- Oh you wouldn’t!
- Oh I would.
I tried to back into the corner but a cold flash hit my stomach.
- You wiiiiin! I screamed and threw the paper at him. He stopped.
- Look what you’ve done! I’m wet!
- Yeah I’m used to make girls wet, he said and grinned at his own joke.
- You use to what now ?
We turned around and saw Dave in the door.
- Nothing, mate. said innocently.
- If you could spend half as much energy at work as you do for fun only for once . You have to get changed now. Dave said and grabbed by the arm before he saw me.
- And what are you doing here?
- She’s with me. said and smiled at me.
The moment after, and I were sat in the couch, watching the lads get changed. pointed at Dave.
- I’ve got a feeling we should leave…
- Why? It is our turn to have a good time. I grinned and nodded at who had started to get changed.
- Hey, you, turn around! Dave ordered us. started to hum Every time I turn around. Obediently we turned around. A smile grew on my lips when I saw the mirror in front of us. had also noticed it and we grinned at each other. I couldn’t help myself and whistled when unbuttoned his pants. slapped me but it was too late.
- That’s enough! You. Out! We went out the door with Dave’s eyes in our backs.
- Thanks a lot, ! was just about to take of his shirt! said.
- There you are you have work to do. The crowd is coming! We heard say.
We started to walk after him when we heard shout.
- Party tonight ladies, wanna join?
- Yes! I said without wonder.
- Great! will call you later.
- Hurry up! said and we ran.
- What are you going to wear? asked me.
- Guess.
All four of us were in a brilliant mood that evening while working. We just saw the beginning of the show before we went back to the motel to shower and get dressed. I put on my make up with care and sprayed with my new beloved perfume. I wore my new blue top and a pair of low black pants. had a classy black dress on. had a skirt with a long suit jacket. also wore a black dress. When I put on the last rouge I heard my phone ring. I almost jumped at it where it lay on the bed.
- Hello, I said in a drunken sexy jokey voice which made my girls laugh out loud. We were already a bit drunk.
- Wow, how much have you been drinking? laughed.
- A bit.
- Are you at your hotel?
- Yes...
- Aight be outside in twenty minutes.
Twenty minutes later we were outside our motel waiting. They weren’t late. After a few minutes a black limo came up to us. opened the door and we jumped in.
- Hello ladies, looking good! said and gave us a glass of champagne. They were all really drunk and ranted loudly, we went along at once. When we got out right by the club Westlife could as well have been magnets. People gathered around them, trying to get their attention. The queue dispersed and soon we were inside. They were playing loud music and people seemed to have a lot of fun.
- What’s that? I asked .
- Nothing, he said and quickly put the photo away. I averted and let fill my glass again.
- Don’t bother. mumbled and it burned when he put his hand on my knee. My head immediately started to send out tocsins. His hand slid up and up and I lost grip of my glass. It hit the floor with a crash. I got down picking up the pieces.
- Don't care about that, the staff will take care of it, now let's get out of this dull place, he said and helped me up on my feet. I resisted, a little unsure about the whole situation.
- Let’s stay, I’m having fun… His eyes drunkenly looked into mine and didn’t really make things easier for me.
- As you wish.
- Come on guys! We found a pin ball machine.
I dislodged my eyes from ’s to see stand above us.
- Not now man, I’m kind of busy here. said with his arm around me.
- Save that for later! nagged and started to pull in like a five year old.
- Don’t forget where we were, he said and got up.
A few moments later we were all inside the casino of the club. The boys had found a Pin ball machine and acted like crazy. sighed deeply and gave me a look while sipping her Martini. A howl erupted and I jumped several feet.
- Aaarrgggh man you suck! Ha ha, did you see that! A wasted yelled. I leaned over the game to see.
- Back off, you’re in the way. said and scuffed me away.
- Sorry… I murmured and took a few steps back. A new roar filled the room.
- Oooh yeah, that’s the way, ahha ahha… danced around on the spot after beating the record while and started to fight about which one who was next. At last grabbed the levers and gave me a look.
- Watch and learn. He winked and I couldn’t help but laugh at how they behaved. pushed who lost control for a second and the ball went down the hole.
- My turn! said and threw himself over .
- No way! Cheat! yelled and rammed his hand down the glass.
Game Over.
- Now look what you did! glowered also ramming his fist on the glass.
- Easy ... calmed and went in between the men and got ’s full attention.
- Let’s have another drink! suggested and by then the game was forgotten.
Everyone went back to our table.
- Come with me. said in my ear and led me into a corner. I followed him, curious of what he had to say. When we got there it was dark and no one could see us. He pulled me into his arms.
- What the hell are you doing to me? He whispered while his hand slid under my blue top. I couldn’t resist him anymore. It was impossible. I let him kiss me fiercely while his hands wandered all over me. I put my arms around his neck and pulled him closer.
After a long hungry deep kiss we pulled apart. I couldn’t breathe and neither could he. After a while he grabbed my face between his hands and kissed me again.
- I’m so sorry, I… he said against my lips.
I just shook my head, put my thumb softly over his mouth and kissed him again.
I just couldn’t help it. I wanted him more and more, so badly it almost scared me.
- We were supposed to be friends… He kept on after I had released him from my kiss.
- I know, with you being married and all. I said.
It was the first time I had mentioned it. He looked at me in horror.
- Oh come on, like I didn’t already know that! Why else would I agree on just being your friend! He broke our eye contact.
- I’m not a cheater, he mumbled.
- And what are you calling this then? I asked.
- I would never do anything with you if I hadn’t had feelings for you.
I winced. Really? I lifted his chin so he would look at me.
- You have feelings for me?
- I thought you knew that.
- No.
I almost relented, I couldn’t let that happen.
- It’s still wrong… these attraction incidents that keep happening… they’re wrong. I said.
- Incidents? He blurted and took a step back.
- Well… that’s what it is right! I said but just shook his head.
- Not to me.
- I’m not going to be the other woman, I refuse! I said and it looked like something hit him hard in his chest, then his face went emotionless.
- I’m sorry. He just said and went back to our table.
- ! I screamed after him to shout down the music but he didn’t turn around.
- Where have you been? puddled with his mouth filled with goobers when we got back. Everyone else stared at us. just sat there looking into nothing. I watched him, trying to get his attention but he stubbornly held his gaze on the table. His face was like sanded stone. Cold and hard. After a long while he finally met my gaze. He held it for a while before he put a strand of hair behind my ear, and then he took off without a word.
- Hey! Where are you going? yelled after him but he didn’t answer, just walked away. All eyes were on me again. I felt it but couldn’t move my face.
- What was that all about? I asked . She closed her eyes.
- Did something happen? What did he say?
- I think I’m gonna go as well, she just said and got up.
- You go I go. I said and got up.
- Don't leave now, the night is still young! will probably go after . said.
- I don’t think so, . She knows he’s married… aren’t you mad at him for being with her?
- Why should I? The man has been a completely different person since she came along. Believe me, it’s not just a fling for him.
- Does that mean it is right, then?
- Nothing is ever certain. He said and looked at me.
- I’ll see you tomorrow. I said and went after .
Outside it was dark. already stood by a taxi, talking to the driver. I walked up to her and we jumped in. We were quiet in the back seat. looked out the window. I just had to say something.
- , what the hell, one second he’s all over you and then… what happened?
She didn’t answer me right away but when she did she had tears in her eyes.
- I think he’s aware of that he will hurt somebody no matter what he does.
We fell into silence. Everything was just so different from when we first met in Stockholm four weeks ago.
Chapter: 9
I didn’t sleep well that night. Pictures of me and kissing and fighting, kissing and touching, kissing and lots more haunted my dreams and I was restless.
I woke up by the noise of my mobile ringing. I reached for it. . I prayed that I didn’t dream this.
- Morning. I answered.
- Hi, said his dark deep voice. I felt the warmth fill me just like every time he spoke to me.
- I didn’t wake you did I? He asked.
- No… the phone did. I said and I could hear him smile.
- I would like to see you.
- Really..? I asked with honest surprise.
- I want to make things right.
- What do you mean?
- For everyone’s sake I want to clear this mess up and for a start I’d like to talk to you. Can I pick you up in thirty minutes?
Thirty minutes later I went down to our lobby. I didn’t know if I would feel happy or sad about this. I didn’t have time to think that much because there he was like a vision from above. He smiled at me through his sun glasses and took my hand and led me to a car. We went to a small restaurant and had some breakfast. We stayed away from the reason he had taken me there and just had a good time. When I drank of my hot chai latte, he said it:
- I’m falling in love with you.
The liquid flew up my nose and I started to cough. laughed.
- Maybe not the best timing to say those words. He said.
- You’re what? I choked and looked at him.
- I’m falling for you.
- But…
- … we’ve known each other for a month more or less. Yes. And I’m married. And you think I’m a drunken cheater. Yes. But I can’t help it; I’m falling in love with you, babe.
I was speechless and just stared at him.
- But... why? I asked and he laughed.
- Well. Maybe because the way you are. Just everything you are, the way you wrinkle your nose when you smile, the way you throw your hair back sometimes, your accent, your walk, your intelligence, your humour, and the way that you laugh at your own jokes. I laughed a bit but felt my whole body ache for him. I wanted to cry by his words. He had no idea how they moved me.
- I don’t think you’re a drunken cheater… I just said.
- Thank you.
- Are you sure?
- About what?
- That you’re in love with me?
- Very sure.
We fell into silence again. I just couldn’t believe it. Then I recalled.
- I’m in love with you too by the way!
- I know, he laughed.
- You do? I asked and he nodded.
- Another thing I love about you. Your face tells me more than a thousand words ever could.
I blushed.
- When did it happen for you then? I asked.
- Maybe you remember that mind blowing kiss we shared once? In Germany? I nodded shyly.
- Probably somewhere during it, he said.
- So now what? I asked him and couldn’t help but staring at that ring of his.
- Well, I’m still married. So I suggest we take things slow. Get a grip of the situation. And no more drunken incidents. He winked.
- It’ll be pretty hard not to do those now that I know. I mumbled.
- Yes very hard, but just like you said, it’s wrong.
- I hate it when I’m right!
After a while, Dave called and told us to go outside. We were off to the airport and on our way back to the UK starting with Belfast. At the airport I didn’t leave ’s side when we met the others and we became the same old crazy gang fooling around having a laugh all the way to the UK. When we had landed took my hand when he saw no one was looking and together we went for the cars. Suddenly I heard someone call his name. He froze and let go of my hand. I saw two women approach. I saw leave the group and go out. One of the women was on her way over to us. I knew better than just standing there so I went after with my whole body filled with pain.
It felt like a cold iron claw took a hold of my heart. My smile twisted when I saw the two women walk up to us. I feared the worst when one of them threw her self in ’s arms. He looked at me but I ignored him and went out to the cars. looked at me in the rear-view.
- What’s wrong? He asked and I just had to smile.
It was hard to believe it was the same that so many times had been yelling at us. Now he observed me with a concerned look.
- Nothing. I said and in the next second, entered the car breathing heavily.
- Go… go! She said and started the car and drove off. and were going with the lads. kept on looking at the two mopes in the back seat.
- I've got a little surprise for you girls that will probably make you feel better, he said. What would you say about some luxury?
- What do you mean? asked.
- I pulled some strings and I got the four of you a room each at Grand! He answered with a proud grin on his face. and I exchanged a look. Great! Stay at the same hotel as the guys just when the wife arrived, wasn’t exactly my biggest wish.
- Not good enough for ye? Sorry my dear princesses but I couldn’t arrange a room at the Four Season’s. The president just booked the last suite! joked.
- It’ll be fine , thank you so much. said.
I slowly went down the stairs to the lobby. After hours and hours of nagging and bitching, and had finally made us agree to join them and the guys and the lovely wives for dinner.
I really didn’t feel like it but I didn’t wanna seem childish either. The others still worked on their make up so I decided to walk down stairs. I jumped over the last step and rounded the corner when I saw the wife of sit in a big arm chair fixing her nails. I was just about to run for it when she saw me.
- Oh hiiii! Are you coming with us tonight? She said and I forced my feet to walk up to her.
- Yeah… I pressed out and placed my self on a pleasant distance from her.
- I’m , she reached out her hand and I shook it.
- . I felt her eyes pore me up and down.
- So what are you working with then that makes you so special? She giggled.
- I’m working for and… I started.
- Never heard of him, she said jerking her neck in a way that made it deflagrate behind my coronal bone.
- dear! She called out with a reedy voice. My heart jumped to my throat when he approached with his light jacket and spiky hair.
- We’re married, she told me before she ran up to him and threw her self in his arms. Then she dragged him towards me and was just about to open her mouth again. Luckily came out the elevator together with . Saved.
- Excuse me. I said and ran off.
- I see you’re getting to know her, that’s really nice of you. I said to who just gave me a murdering look. Maybe not…
We stood by the doors waiting for everyone to come down. was the last one from our gang to join us.
- Where’s ? asked.
- She’s coming. mumbled and immediately went up to me.
- , I had no idea she would come… I…
I didn’t say anything in case would hear. And he didn’t say anything more ‘cause came out the doors in a teeny tiny skirt. She went into the car before everyone else and went in after her without another word. Soon all ten of us sat in the big limo. , , , and were the ones who actually seemed to enjoy the moment. They didn’t notice the thunder clouds that floated over the rest of us. We arrived to a nice place that served Chinese. My mood got a little better when I came in and smelled all the great food. We were sat at an enormous table in a private corner. When we had gotten our drinks and were waiting for the dinner, I felt ’s eyes burn my face. seemed to ignore the whole situation and just made small talk with . I closed my eyes, opened them again and met ’s gaze. She broke the eye contact at once and my frustration turned into guts.
- right? I smiled.
- Yes, she said and met my gaze again now with regained confidence. had finally given us his full attention. He looked very uncomfortable and begged me with his eyes not to start anything. Not here, !
- I’m . I just said and reached out my hand.
- Hello. She just said with an icy smile. That created a wave of fury inside of me and I squeezed her hand so hard her fake smile froze in her face.
- Nice to meet you…
I let go of her hand and ignored ’s attempt to introduce her self. I just took my wine glass and gave ’s leg a hard kick under the table. He stubbornly held his gaze down but I could see in his face that it hurt.
When we had survived dinner thought it would be fun to go out. Everyone agreed, I mean, it just couldn’t get worse so why not try to have some fun? We arrived to a pretty wild place and when we came in, me and immediately withdraw to the bar.
- You okay love? He asked and hugged me.
- He told me he’s in love with me. I just said into his neck. smiled and nodded.
- Yes we know that. He honestly didn’t know would arrive.
- He said that.
- Just give him a break; it’s hard on him too, he didn’t know you would suddenly appear from nowhere and steal his heart just like you did.
- Should I feel guilty? I mean his wife and all…
- Let’s just put it this way. She has done way worse stuff than you both have together.
- What? I asked eagerly to get some dirty details. laughed.
- No no, babe. That’s ’s story to tell.
I nodded and we got our drinks, turned to me again.
- Like I said, , give him time. He likes you a lot! We all do.
When we came back, just sat there focusing on her drinking. talked to about something, or it was rather the other way around. It looked like was giving him a lecture. I smiled; poor really got what he deserved and more. and sat and laughed over a couple of beers. sat and had some kind of a conversation with with a smile that said kill me. My gaze wandered back to who gave me a look he never had given me before, a sad one. I just wanted to run up to him and kiss that sad face away but I knew better. I just couldn’t bear to sit there anymore so I made my way out to the dance floor.
- I'm off now. said and made an effort to stand up, and for the first time ever I managed to listen to a whole sentence that came out of her.
- Already? I said and tried to hide my relief.
- Oh well, if you insist! She chuckled and sat down again. I stamped myself on my toe. Damn it , can’t you just shut your mouth for once!
- Eh... I'm fairly tired myself. I said and made a gesture to take my bag. She immediately bit the hook.
- are you coming? He looked up.
- No I think I’m gonna stay for a while, you go.
- Okay but I'm waiting for you so don't be late. She grinned and wrapped her arms around him, ignoring the fact that he didn’t seem to be in the mood.
- Night. He said and kissed her cheek.
- Isn’t he just wonderful! She said and hugged me.
- Delightful… I muttered.
When she had left I sank back into the couch with a sigh.
- Having a good time? I heard ask and I made a face at her. I filled my glass and emptied it again. I couldn’t believe that woman could be constipated to sit here with her manicured nails and Chanel lip gloss and talk about her perfect life all evening. patted on a free spot next to him. I just gave him a chilly look until I couldn’t do it anymore. I grabbed my purse and said goodnight to everyone at the table except before I went for the doors. I saw shake her body on the dance floor with a hot guy. If she was bothered that was in the same room as her, she did a damn good job hiding it.
- I’m leaving. I told her.
- You want me to come with you?
- No, not this time, stay and have a good time. I answered and took off.
Outside I sat down on a bench and felt the fresh night air stroke my hair. I heard him call my name. I got up to grab a cab, ignoring his voice.
- Please , wait! He made his way up on me and I turned to face him.
- What?
- I just want you to know… he said and I felt that his face was dangerously close to mine.
- Know what? I asked and tried not to sound affected by the fact that I could feel his breath on my skin. My heart started to beat harder. Suddenly he kissed me. I welcomed him and answered to his hunger until I came to my senses and pushed him away from me.
- No! I said and went into my cab.
- Grand.
I looked back to see sit on the bench I sat on before with his face buried in his hands. I just wanted to tell the driver to stop and run back to him but I knew this was probably for the best. I snivelled and rubbed my eyes.
- You alright dear? The driver asked and I just shook my head.
Chapter 10:
It was late and more people entered the dance floor. had joined another table and was now really drunk. still sat on his spot. I threw a glance at who didn’t seem aware of anything else than the bloke she was talking to. I took my chance and went over to , grabbed him by the arm and pulled him with me into another room that played calmer music. When we were in a corner behind a big plant he hugged me tightly. I hugged him back and enjoyed feeling him again. We stood like that for a long while ‘til he let go of me a bit to look at me. I could just drown in his eyes. Suddenly I got aware of that his wife was in the other room. I let go of him and put my hands on my hips.
- How did we end up here all three together? I asked.
- She heard that we were hanging out with you guys and came here to make sure I didn’t do anything. You know, to ruin her reputation, or whatever. Why else?
- To visit…? I suggested and he laughed.
- I know her, having the house to her self when I’m on tour is the high light of the year.
- So… what’s going on in there? I asked and knocked on his head.
- I don’t know… I spoke to her when we got to the hotel.
- Oh really? I said sarcastically.
- Let me finish… I told her what I felt for you and…
- Just like that?! He gave me a slightly annoyed expression.
- Sorry. I muttered and kept my mouth closed.
- You don’t know our story; we haven’t had the best relationship in the world. We are working on it, mediocre but yet we are. We have been through so much.
- So what are you gonna do? I asked him.
- I don’t know; maybe try to talk to her again.
- Great... then hopefully you will work this out and live happily forever after!
- Oh no, don't be mad…
- Hell yeah I'm mad! You're telling me you are in love with me and all that crap and now when your wife arrives, you're just thinking about yourself and your marriage to her!
Tears started to fill my eyes.
- You’re not getting it! She hasn’t exactly been the perfect wife but I’m not a person who just throws away six years of marriage just like that. I wanna do this right!
- So you’re not even sure you’re gonna leave her?
- I didn’t say that. All I’m saying is that I just need some time to dot this right!
- Just like they always say. Jeez, that’s why you never fall in love with a married man. I soured. He put his hands over mine on my hips, pulled me closer and put his forehead on mine.
- Please still be in love with me. Please...
- There you are! We jumped apart and sighed with relief when it was .
- You have got to see this! She started to pull with her and I followed. She led us out to the dance floor again where we saw snog another man against the wall. I gasped.
What the hell! I looked at to see what his reaction was. He just shook his head.
- Revenge time I suppose. He grinned.
- Yeah but... I said and pointed at her. took my hand.
- Tell the others we left. He told and we went out in the back of the club. He catched a cab and almost threw me inside and sat next to me.
- Grand. He said.
He took my hand. We were quiet all the way back to the hotel. When we arrived there were a bunch of fans outside. He sighed.
- You go first; I’ll go around a few blocks and come after. I said.
- You don’t have to, they’ll understand.
I gave him a look and he sighed again.
- Fine… He paid and went outside to greet the girls and the driver started the car.
- Love problems? He asked and I gave him a crooked smile and nodded.
The fans seemed oblivious about me when I entered the hotel and went up to my floor.
When I came up to my door he waited for me outside with a smile.
- What if she… I started.
- Do you care? He interrupted me and I shrugged and opened the door and we went inside. sat on my bed and I sat down next to him.
- So…. He said stroking my cheek, here we are, you and me, all alone. My wife is still at the bar, or at some other man’s hotel room, so maybe we could…
- Do you love her? I asked and looked directly into his beautiful eyes.
- I surely did, she’s a big part of my life and she hasn’t always been like this. I nodded.
- Tell me about your life, he suddenly said.
- What? I said surprised by his words.
- What’s your family like? Do you have any brothers and sisters? He asked.
I didn’t say anything, just raised my eyebrows at him. Was he joking? He laughed a little at my expression, kissed me tenderly and said:
- Come on, I want to know.
I went down to breakfast, grabbed some food and sat by and Michael.
- Morning! said. You had fun last night?
- Not really, what about you? I asked and he nodded.
- We went to grab a few beers. Clubbing is not really our melody.
- We could have switched anyway… I said with my mouth filled with sandwich.
- That bad, aye?
- Yeah!
- Well well well! I turned to see what Michael referred to and saw a slightly battered enter the dining room and sit down next to . Where was ? I got my answer when he also came in but with by his side. They just passed ’s table without a word and sat down with and by the window.
- What the hell? chuckled and raised his eyebrows.
My gaze followed and .
- I agree! Something must have happened.
I had been so into the event that I didn’t notice the two others that joined us at the table.
- Can we sit down? I froze when I heard ’s voice.
- Yes sure…
- What’s up with them? She said pointing her fork towards and then .
- I don’t know, Michael said, but I’d rather like to know what’s up between them.
He pointed at and who unconcernedly talked to and .
- Throw away years of memories on a girl like that, typical one of ’s stupid ideas. said rolling her eyes.
I gnashed and glowered at her. I forced my self to stay calm. She didn’t seem to be aware of the fact that was my best friend. She just rambled on.
- would never do anything like that! She said leaning against him.
and I exchanged a look and I couldn’t help but feel a bit spiteful, if you only knew… All though I felt guilty thinking that but I couldn’t help it. I’d do anything to shut that big mouth of hers. did it for me. He pushed her away. - Stop it, ! is a sweet girl so do not judge her like that and besides, and won’t last for much longer, you babbled all about it your self not three days ago. Just watch your self! said before she could even respond.
Everyone just sat there in silence after his break out. Sure this was pretty immature game , and were playing but I was glad was put in place.
- Can't you at least try to be a little bit nicer to me; it's our last day together for weeks! She complained and I felt relived.
- Where are you going? I asked and hoped that my voice wouldn’t give me away.
- I have a model job in Spain; she said and was then fully busy talking about her self for the rest of the meal. After a while, saved me.
- Come on . We have to... be somewhere. I got up quickly.
- Nice talking to you and good luck in Spain.
When we worked later that day with flier I turned to .
- Explanation please! Her eyes sparkled and told me about her night with .
I had spent another night with him, talking about everything. He had told me about his relationship with . He had known her his whole life. She had never given him a look until he had gotten famous. Then she had started to approach. At first hadn’t responded but as time went by and more girls had shown their interest because of his fame, he had gone to her, for safety and in the process slowly fallen for her. Now everything was different. They had grown sick of each other and had started to cheat again. Since he didn’t want to bring in press into his family by breaking up with her, he had stayed.
I understood. I told him to go talk to her the next day to sort things out now that there were on the same page. I didn’t really know what I was doing. Ruining or saving his marriage?
The next day after breakfast we went straight to the arena. I didn’t see anywhere. He was probably somewhere talking to her. It hurt but it’s probably the right thing. I wandered through the corridors and saw and stand by the wall flirting innocently. I grinned at them.
- Hey , said cheekily. Looking for someone special? I shook my head.
- Naah, just hanging around, but don't let me bother you guys. I said and walked around the corner where I bumped into .
- There you are, I was looking for you, he said.
- Likewise, what did she say?
- Load of stuff, he said with a heavy voice.
- Liiike...?
- She hates me, all I'm doing is wrong, she was right, I was wrong. And she thought you and I… last night... He made a pause and raised his eyebrows.
Yeah, like that would’ve been a problem, she was all over another dude last night! I thought.
- Really… I just said.
- She doesn’t trust me at all, and I don’t trust her. Not a very good basic huh...
I knew I couldn’t affect anymore. Now his feelings had to decide our future.
- Maybe I should quit this job. Make your ‘reparation’ a bit easier. I said out of the blue.
I looked at him and something changed in him and I saw pain wash over him.
- Is that what you want? He asked quietly.
- You can’t have me here while you try to mend your marriage! That’s just not fair.
- I’m not trying to do that! I’m just trying to figure things out.
- Figure what out, ?
- How to break up with her! You might think it’s simple but it’s not! It’s not easy to break up with someone you’ve been with for ages, even if she’s acting like a bitch and all I want is you!!
He raised his voice until he yelled at me. I lowered my gaze. I didn’t know what to say.
- Sorry, it’s just so confusing. I said.
I saw his feet take a step in my direction and I felt his fingers under my chin. They lifted my face so I would meet his eyes. Those eyes.
- Just give me some time! Are you okay with that?
No
- Yes.
- Passport please. I yawned and gave it to the woman at the check in. It was five in the morning and my legs barely kept me standing.
- Tired? laughed and patted my head.
- Like hell, I murmured and leaned my head against his and enjoyed not having to look around to see stand there with her big face and sheepish grin.
- So what are your plans for the evening in London? He asked me.
- Don't know... I answered picking up my luggage.
- Let me know if you have time for dinner, he said.
- That sounds great; I will let the others know! I said a bit more alert.
- Well I was thinking that maybe just I and you could go out and to dinner tonight. I'm too tired to go out party every night.
I tried to use a cool voice.
- Sounds good to me.
- Plans for tonight? asked next to me when we had boarded the plane, I thought we could go out all together, I know a few pubs in London.
- Well.. I said. I’m kind of busy…
- I see, and you? He asked .
- Naah, sorry , I’ve got plans with , , and , she said and devoted herself to her chips again.
- Ahh okey, but don’t you bother, we have lots of evenings in front of us! Mike... busy tonight? He called.
- No mate, let's grab an ale!
- So, what’s happening tonight? crunched.
- Oh, nothing special, I’m going to dinner… with .
raised her eyebrows and grinned.
- Dinner! Nothing more! Two mates having dinner. I said but couldn’t help but smile sneakily.
Chapter 11
We were staying in London for a good six days with five shows at Wembley. The first night, tonight, we had off. It was late. had gone a long time ago. was also on a date. Me, , , and decided to have some fun. I stood in front of the mirror fixing my hair. I dressed extra nice tonight. and were in a fight and she had gone home. He needed time. And during that time he had been spending less time with me. That killed me. But tonight he had invited us to join them on a night out. interrupted my thoughts with her voice. She was very excited about tonight. The place we were going to is called Fifty and is a pretty classy place.
My phone rang and I knew exactly who it was. I tried to force bad thoughts out of my head.
- Hellooo! I said.
- When can we come and get ya? asked.
- How about now, we're ready.
- Great, because we're outside your door"! , and stormed in. screamed at the top of her lounges. threw himself on me who still held the phone to my ear. We landed on the bed.
- Surprise!
and laughed hard at who sat on her bed all white still in shock.
- You should see your self! laughed.
- You look terrific. said and pulled me to my feet.
I smiled. I just wore a simple black dress.
- So do you, I purred and stroke his body with my gaze. He had a black suit on and looked incredibly sexy.
We arrived at eleven thirty and sat by a reserved table filled with drinks. Only members and their guests were allowed in this club so it was pretty calm since no one came up to us to get one of the boy’s attentions. I relaxed and let the soft music and lights surround us. and were at the bar and had found someone he knew. turned to me and I let my fingers slowly caress his cheek and made a move to kiss him but he turned away. I can’t describe in words just how much that one hurt.
The evening turned into night and more people had acceded to our table. One of them, a very cute guy was very into me and had started to kiss my neck. I let him do so, to see how reacted. The guy was a really good kisser and I let myself get into it for a second before he turned away from me. I looked the way he looked and I saw stand above us. He was holding the guy’s shoulder and stared at me with a furious look.
- Excuse me… the guy said and removed ’s hand. That made him stop look at me and grab the guy again and fiercely pull him up to his feet.
- Woah woah, take it easy, man, we were just fooling around. The guy said and backed away from who was so angry he was shaking.
- Fuck off. hissed between his teeth and the guy did so.
I smiled at that but it faded when roughly grabbed me by the arm and dragged me away.
- Hey , be easy on her! shouted when we passed him.
- What the hell are you doing? yelled when we were alone in a corner, away from the others.
I just gave him an inappreciative look.
- You know exactly what I mean, he warned, you knew I was right there!
- And you have no right to be mad! I yelled.
He was taken a little aback by my out break.
- But he…
- Paid more attention to me in ten minutes than you have during these damn days! I spat.
He just stood there and I calmed down but I was still hurt.
- You fooled around with him to make me jealous?
I folded my arms over my chest.
- Yes!
- It worked… He grinned and took a step closer but I took a step back.
- Why didn’t you let me kiss you before? I asked still with folded arms.
- Well, I think it’s a little too soon making us official… but it seems like I’ve ruined that anyway acting like a jealous numbnut.
- I guess. I said and started to smile a bit. He was so afraid of you! You were angry.
laughed.
- No one touches my girl, he smirked.
I stamped my foot in a stew. Yeah, this started out nicely! should have been here twenty minutes ago! I adjusted my skirt and put on another layer of lip gloss to make time pass while my thoughts started to nag. Maybe he had forgotten? Maybe he changed his mind? I didn’t have time to worry anymore, there he was. I swallowed hard when I saw his figure approach.
- You look stunning, I'm so sorry I'm late! He gave me a big hug and a worried look.
- Are you mad? He asked.
- No
- Ooh, I hope I can make this up to you, let's go!
Time flew by. We sat in a small restaurant and talked until the place closed for the night.
- Have you ever seen London at night? He asked when we came out again. Without waiting for an answer he had dragged me with him. Eventually we came to River Thames.
- Wow that is beautiful! I leaned over the rail and catched the sight. You could see all the buildings light up the water surface.
- Look over there, he said and pointed up. I saw a black night sky without a single cloud in sight and the stars glared at me.
- Aaw you must be freezing. He came closer and let me slide into his jacket with him. He stroke my hair and I leaned against his warm chest. I could feel each breath he took, his heart. I closed my eyes and couldn’t help my tears from falling down.
- Never leave me, I whispered so low I wasn’t sure he heard me.
- Ssssh, he whispered and took my hands. I sniffed while he led me to a bench and sat down with me.
- What's wrong, have I done anything? I looked up and saw him through a fog of tears. Only if he could ever understand! I wanted to tell him so badly how I felt for him. But instead I took a deep breath.
- It's nothing, everything is just so perfect and that’s what scares me. He didn’t say anything; he just looked into my eyes. I broke the eye contact, afraid that I would give away too much. He put his fingers under my chin and lifted my face; I closed my eyes and hoped he wouldn’t hurt me too bad. I was surprised when I felt his lips on mine. I opened my mouth in an astonished gasp and he took his chance to slide his tongue inside it. Carefully I lifted my hand to touch him. It wasn’t a dream, it was real!
The next morning I woke up with the sun in my face. I stretched myself and smiled when I remembered what had happened last night.
- You slept alright? I heard say and I saw her come out of the shower.
- Mmmmmmmm! I said. When did you come home by the way? Did you have a good time? I asked her. Her smile went from one ear to the other and her eyes sparkled. It was answer enough for me.
- I’ll tell you later, you’ll have to get dressed. We have to be at Victoria Station in an hour.
- What’s up?
- We’re going on a sight seeing tour!
The rest of the night had been incredible. We had been dancing and laughing until the early hours, just me and him. Today we were going to meet up with everyone and then the lads would show us London. The eight of us and two bodyguards! It was a hot summer day and I wore a nice white dress which I knew would love. I had my hair in two braids to make my appearance even more girly.
We arrived to Victoria Station in a cab and we saw the boys by another car wait for us.
- Welcome to your sightseeing tour in the city of pleasures my ladies! shouted when we came closer. wore a pair of khaki shorts and a white tight T-shirt. He looked amazing as usual. He had sunglasses on but I knew his eyes probed my dress strictly. I went up to him.
- You look amazing. He said and carefully pulled one of my braids.
- I was just thinking the same about you, I said kissing his palm of his hand that softly held on to my braid. I knew I couldn’t be bolder than that when we were out in public.
- Lets go. said.
We didn’t spend much time in the van. We walked around looking at buildings and shops. Sat by the water, split up and got together again, had lunch at a classy beer garden.
After seven hours of walking around we ended up lying on the grass in Kensington Hyde Park. couldn’t help himself anymore. He started to kiss me under my ear. I gave in for a second but then I remembered what we had talked about.
- … I gently pushed him away. You know you can’t do that.
- I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself, you’re so incredibly beautiful today, he smiled and I had to fight an urge not to throw myself at him, force him down on the grass and kissed him like he should be kissed.
- I need you to take a real big thinker. I don’t want you to make a choice and then change your mind.... I said.
- I’ve already...
- Do it again. I don’t want you to hesitate at all!
His smile faded and he nodded and lovingly pulled my braid again.
The day after our day in London we were back to work and now I stood in front of a girl who literally hyperventilated.
- Take it easy. I said and patted her shoulder. had asked me to go outside to find some girls who could help us flier tonight since and had taken the night off. Apparently the very idea of getting in before everyone else made these girls all shaky. And it didn’t really help when I told her that if they were lucky I might manage to get them in to watch the sound check. I pulled out three AAA cards from my pocket. The girls just stood there and stared.
- We don't have time to just stand here and stare, just follow me.
- Here are your slaves, I said to when we were inside.
- Ooh thanks a million; can you take care of them for twenty minutes? I have to do something.
- Yeah sure! I said and turned to the girls.
- Okay, now be calm or you're gonna get me in trouble. I said and sneaked them into the arena where the guys were in the middle of the sound check. The girls were so excited they almost burst out in tears. I told them to sit down behind .
- Hey honey. I said to her and she turned around and saw the girls who had their eyes fixed on the stage. She gave me a quizzical look and I just shrugged.
- Did you speak to ‘you know who’? I asked her.
- No, not about what I told him yesterday, he needs time.
Suddenly the music stopped and the boys started to mess around on stage.
- You’ll have to take it easy now. I have someone who really wants to meet you. I smiled.
- Oh my God! Oh my God!! They squeaked and followed me down to the stage, came up to me.
- You think this is a very good idea? They look like they’re gonna explode any minute!
- Yep! Come on.
- ! Get down here. I yelled and after a second he appeared from behind the stage.
- Hello ladies. said to the girls who looked like they were in a frazzle and gave him some banners to sign. had gone behind the stage to get the other lads and when she came back with them the girls started to go Oh my God again and ran up to them with their cameras in one hand and pens and banners in another. One of the girls was apparently totally into and tried to tell him things all the time but her words got stuck in her throat. noticed this while he signed her banner, smiled and asked:
- What’s your name, love?
- H-helen.
- Nice to meet you Helen, he said and gave her a kiss on her cheek.
This overran her bowl and she started to cry. The rest of us had to fight back our laughter. grabbed Helen by her shoulder.
- Are you okay, babe?
- Yes! She blurted and threw herself into his arms.
I saw raise an eyebrow and playfully elbowed her.
- We have to go and get ready for the show, nice to meet you girls. said and they walked away. As soon as they were gone, the girls started to scream loudly.
- Warned ya! laughed with her hands over her ears.
During the show I sat back stage in an arm chair reading a paper. I didn’t notice when the concert had stopped and the lads went back to change. Later on I saw walk into a room while yelling into his phone.
- To you? It's not me who hook up with the first guy I see!
When he closed the door I got up pressing my ear against the door so I could hear him better.
- Charlie? Is that the guy you almost raped at the bar? … Yes, that’s … No we haven’t done anything yet, well we kissed… Oh like you’re the one to talk!
A pause, when he started to talk again he had calmed down.
- So are we finished? … Yeah I do … Yes I’m in love with her … sorry … I won’t be home until next month, why don’t you let me call a removal company … hell yeah you’re moving! … Okay, yeah I know, not the best thing to discuss over the phone. We will talk when I get home in a few weeks … What kind of a question is that?! … Well, are you going to do stuff to him? … Okay then probably I will do stuff to her, if she wants to … Yes like I said, I’m in love with her!
I smiled.
- Yes I know it’s for the best too … Yeah it feels good … I’ll see you when I get home … Bye.
I hurried back to my seat and managed to sit down before he came out.
- You heard it all didn’t you?
- Well, not all of it. I lied.
- Is it over? I asked.
- Yes. We broke up. It feels better than I thought it would! Have you seen ?
- No not since before the show.
- I’m gonna go find her. See you, .
Since and were off tonight and I couldn’t find so instead I found a lonely seat very close to the stage on the left side. Other nights we sat in the back of the arena or didn’t find any seats at all but not tonight. I could see their faces and not just on the big screen. It was really something else. Every night they gave it all and completely devoted themselves to the fans. Every night it looked like they fulfilled their dream and didn’t want anything to destroy it. Never took it for granted.
found me sitting in the crowd and I smiled and waved a little to him. He patted on the shoulder and pointed at me. met my gaze and tears immediately filled my eyes. He smiled, walked in my direction and sang the line to me.
Sometimes I feel
I can't keep it together
Then you hold me close
And you make it better
When I'm with you
I can feel so unbreakable
People started to turn to see who he was looking at. The boys usually didn’t hold their gaze on someone for this long. I didn’t notice them. I just sat there grinning foolishly at him all lovesick with tears falling down my face. He winked at me before starting the chorus again.
After the show I just had to see him. I got seated in a couch hoping he would find me. He did. He sneaked up to me from behind and put his lips to my ear.
- Hey cry baby.
I smiled and laughed, loving having his voice so close.
He sat down next to me and said:
- That was the first time I’ve seen you from stage.
- Never do that to me again! I felt like a complete fool crying like that! Where have you been anyway? I’ve been looking for you. I said.
just grinned and raised his left hand. My eyes got bigger. No ring. I gaped at him.
- Talked to . I’m all yours now.
- Just like that? What about...
- She’s at home. She’s starting to date that guy she met in the club. Probably swept her off her feet he did.
- Are you really fine with that?
- I am very really fine with that.
- So now what?
- Well, we still have to take things slow at least officially until the divorce is done, if you still want me that is.
- Of course I do! Are you crazy? And of course I understand we have to be discreet.
raised an eyebrow.
- What? I asked.
- I don’t see anyone around now though.
I smiled and let him touch my hair the way only he could and kiss me.
- Hey! Lovebirds! We heard a voice from down the corridor. I saw and stand there with their regular clothes on and a crate in their hands.
- Somebody wants to party in the tour bus?
We just looked at them.
- In the tour bus? asked with his hand still on my knee.
- Yeah. and have been planning it all day.
- So that’s why they ditched me earlier! I said.
- Probably. So are you up for it? asked.
- Definitely yeah. said, just when and walked up to us.
We went down to the garage where all the buses were. We immediately knew which bus there was a party in. It lit up the whole place and the music beat from it. and came out from it proudly waving. opened up a bottle of champagne when we approached and the cork flew up to the ceiling with a loud POP and broke a lamp which made everyone laugh. The bus was filled with candles, pillows and drinks.
- So… Welcome! said when everyone sat down and poured up champagne and when everyone had their drink lifted his glass.
- To us, he said. We all lifted our glasses.
- The craziest and loudest gang in the world. filled in and we all laughed again.
We sat there talking loudly as always in the cosy light from the candles. We all started to feel a bit tipsy and then of course and had to move some.
- Let’s play tag! said and made an effort to stand up.
- No, come on ! I said and just wanted to sit there between ’s legs.
- Hey! It might be fun! said and also got on her feet. Everyone followed her and went out.
- Okay, who starts being the catcher? asked.
- I am! said and started to scoot for the group. We all split up and started to run. chose to follow who laughed so hard se could barely run, he catched her without any problems. She started to run after who screamed when she came close. started to run after who found a man with ear phones approach and ran up to him.
- This guy is pass! He yelled and stood behind him.
- Oooh no, I’m not a part of this crazy game! The man chuckled and walked away.
- No wait, you're supposed to protect me! called to him while came running.
We all ended up lying on the floor in the bus.
- I need something refreshing. said and grabbed a beer.
- Catch! He said and threw the tin to me.
- You ticklish? I asked and in the next second he flew up from the floor with a scream.
- God, he sounds like a girl! laughed.
- What did you say! asked and watched her with an ugly look.
- Nothing…
- ; help me out here. said and they both threw themselves at who dismayfully tried to crawl herself to safety.
- I give up! I’m sorry, sorry!!! She yelled.
- You take it back? said and kept on tickling her.
- I take it back!!!
- We're gonna take a walk, we'll be back soon. I looked up to see and stand outside the bus.
fluffed up a pillow.
- Come over here, he said lying down. I lay down with my face turned away. He started to kiss my neck. I turned to face him and he leaned in but I put my finger in between.
- What will happen to us? He gave me a surprised look.
- Don't pretend like you don't know what I mean. I said and he sat up.
- I know I know, it's far from well, it's just that I feel so confused. I've always been so sure where I stand and where I have my feelings but…
- But what?
- I don't know. I'm sorry I know this is wrong, but it feels so right at the same time.
He began to stand up to walk away but I stopped him.
- No, sorry for dragging this up.
- Well, we had to do it sooner or later my friend. He mumbled and put his head on my shoulder.
- Hey, you can't just sit there all night. said and jumped down with us but realized her mistake. It was too late though, had gone to join the others.
- You okay? She asked and I nodded.
- My head hurts though… I think I’m gonna try to sleep some. I went over to the beds and curled up in one of the beds.
I woke up not long after, the others were still having a good time and my head still hurt.
I saw and sleep enlaced on the floor under the blankets and pillows. saw me from the table and went over to sit by the bed.
- You look tired, he said.
- Oh thanks, and you look drunk.
- I'm not, he smiled and playfully pinched my ear.
- Oh, but you are, I laughed.
- Allright maybe a little, he said and huddled up next to me.
I woke up when snored in my ear. I looked at the time, almost four. had his leg over me and I didn’t want to wake him up so I just stayed there, thinking about our walk. We had wandered around the garage for an hour just holding hands, stopped to kiss each other, joke around and talk. I leaned against a wall and he came up to me.
- So… I said.
- So… he whispered and leaned in to kiss me again. This time so soft I could barely feel him. It made the butterflies in my stomach do somersaults.
- What made you make up your mind? I asked against his lips. He stepped back and looked at me for a while.
- To be honest I’ve known you were the one since the first day but never really believed that you can fall for someone that quickly. But when I saw you there in the crowd tonight, just sitting there being so God damn beautiful, I felt complete. Proud. Happy. You know. Then I knew for sure.
End of flashback
Now I am here in his arms on the floor of a bus. He had removed his leg so I made an effort to sit up. started to laugh.
- Jeez girl, what did you guys do under that table?
- , your hair is all messy. said and pulled her fingers through it.
- Want some candy, love? asked and gave me a chocolate.
- Thank you babe. I said. grunted from our spot in the blankets. I looked at him. He looked awfully tired. His hand caressed my leg and he yawned. I giggled and stroke his cheek.
- You wanna go to bed? He nodded and took my hand. I saw and in one of the beds, sleeping.
- Heeey that's my bed! said sourly.
- Wow, PMS! I joked and closed the drapery. I turned to and grinned.
- What! He muttered.
- You really do look tired!
- Thanks… he smiled and turned to ’s empty bed and started to take off his clothes. I could just stare at him. He was a vision. He noticed me staring and smiled.
- What’s the matter? I assume I'll take my clothes off in front of you way more times than this. Better get used to it. He said and took off his sweater and I had to catch by breath.
Damn he’s fit!
- You wanna sleep here? He asked and patted on ’s bed. I took a step closer so I was right in front of him.
- Only if you do. I said seductively and let my skirt fall to the floor. just stood there watching me only wearing my white boy shorts and a top. He didn’t say anything but I could see in his eyes that he liked what he saw. That gave me confidence so I started to kiss his neck. I heard him moan silently while he caressed my back with his fingers. I put my arms around him and kissed his lips and…
The drapery where and slept flew aside.
- Hey! No sex in my bed, you save that to another time!
And with that he closed it again. sighed and stepped aside.
- After you… He helped me up to the upper bed and came after me and closed the drapery. It was darker in here and the drapery gave everything a sexy red pale feeling.
- Good night, he said and gave me a long lasting kiss.
I yawned and stretched. At the first sight of the person next to me I jumped but then I remembered.
- Slept well? asked.
- Like a queen, I smiled and heard the others make coffee. and were already up. ’s and ’s drapery was still closed so I figured that they were still asleep.
- Mornin’, grinned when we joined them by the table.
- You want some coffee? asked and gave us cups.
- Save some for us as well! I heard call from their bed.
- God, what a mess… said and dawdled himself down from the bed and helped down. I looked around and saw empty beer cans, bottles, candles, candy and chips lying all around the floor.
- Think Dave has got some work to do today. laughed and took a sip of his coffee.
- What's the plans for today everybody? asked who also had awakened.
- It's shopping for me and , said.
- Then I'm taking this lady to the movies, if she likes to join me! I nodded.
- Can we come with you? asked and kicked an empty chips bag.
Later that afternoon I sat in a cinema with ’s arm around me. Except me, and who sat a few chairs down there were four people in here watching the movie. It was a pretty lame action movie but I was still pretty into it.
placed his hand on my thigh and slowly slid it upward.
- Quit it, I'm watching. I said absently and tried to focus. removed his hand and started to kiss my neck.
- Ehhm, you make it quiet hard for me to concentrate on the movie. I said. His hand made its way in under my sweater and grinned.
- You didn't really think I paid 10£ to go to a cinema and then watch this crap? I let go of the screen to watch him.
- You rascal! I said but couldn’t help but smile.
- Oh get a room, a man in front of us hissed.
- Sorry. I mumbled and sank down again. I noticed that still had his hand under my shirt. It was now dangerously high up. His fingers played over my skin and I shivered by pleasure.
- Do you still watch the movie? He whispered and nibbled on my lips.
- Maybe… I mumbled and tried to sound unaffected.
- Well, not for long...
- Okaaay the movie's finished and the light's on!
I awkwardly looked up at and quickly pulled apart from .
- How would you reckon it? continued and smiled provokingly.
- It was great!
- Yeah especially when they understood that Chris was gay and he and Dog got together.
- Loved that part…
We tried to sound enthusiastic.
- You surely did. grinned.
- I'm hungry. came up and stood by ’s side.
- Lets go eat then before we have to go back. said and put his arm around her.
Chapter 13
- What do you feel like eating? asked
- Indian. said
- Lasagne. What about you? asked me.
- Sushi.
- You can’t be serious.
- Oh yes I am! It’s delicious!
Later on we came to a place that served everything from hamburgers to sushi. I ordered a big one. gave me short glances from time to time, like he just couldn’t understand how I could eat raw fish.
- Here. I said and dipped a salmon skin roll in soya and put some ginger on it. Eat this.
- No way! He said.
- Have you ever tasted this?
- No and I will never, it is raw !
- It’s all in your head, babe! Just open up.
- And what if I don’t? He dared me.
- Well… then you’ll miss something really good.
- Really? What? He winked.
- Oh just open up!
He opened his mouth and I gave him the salmon with my chopsticks. He took a bite and chewed it for a while and did no longer have a disgusted expression on his face. He looked at me.
- Well? I smiled.
- It was actually really good!
After a while we went back to the arena and met the girls and went inside.
- We’re gonna go change. said, kissed me and went back stage with and Dave. I looked after them with a huge grin on my face. The live band came out on stage with their instruments and we went up to say hi.
- Andrew! I said and went up to him, how are ya?
- I’m fine love. But not as good as you I guess. Glad I introduced ye in the first place, yeah? He laughed and I could just smile.
- Hey, you! A sound technician with ear phones said and I turned to him.
- I’ll have to fix the sound in this mic; can you make some noise in it? He said, gave me the microphone and turned to his buttons again.
- Sing ! yelled from where she stood with the others on the other side of the stage.
- Ehh… I just said.
- Come on girl, I really don’t have that much time for this. The sound technician called.
I couldn’t do much more than to make some noise in the microphone. My voice filled the big arena and I quickly removed it from my mouth. Then I carefully put the mic to my lips again and started to sing a song I had heard on the radio in the car yesterday.
- You can sing? Andrew blurted when I had finished.
- Well… I blushed.
Andrew started to play an intro for a new song. Marc came in with his piano and Freddy with his guitar. I recognized it from the show, only in a higher key. I smiled.
Everybody’s looking for that something…
When the nervousness disappeared I could really enjoy myself. This was a dream to me and I lost myself in the moment. When I finished singing the chorus I lowered the mic and I turned to smile at Andrew. To my surprise I saw , , and all changed staring at me.
- Take it again! said and grabbed another microphone from a boom and went to stand next to who seemed a little embarrassed by all the sudden attention. Andrew played the intro once more. exhorted her to sing the song again and she obeyed. ’s harmony captured her voice in the second phrase and I immediately got goose bumps.
- You’re amazing! Why haven’t you told me about your voice? blurted when they were done. shrugged.
- I don’t know! Other things captured my mind at the time I guess.
- Do you have experience of singing in front of a crowd?
- Oh yes. Well, not in an arena like this. I mean it would be such a dream and… why? She laid a suspicious gaze on him. He didn’t answer her, just smiled and kissed her.
- Hope you can sing like that. said with a facetious grin.
- O no… my job is to annoy people. I laughed.
- And she does a real good job, I’ll tell you! said.
- You know her the best. Do you think she can sing on stage in front of thousands of people? asked me.
- Don't ask me, ask her, I would be surprised if she said no... are you serious by the way?
- Well... it would be cool doing something different on the last show at Croke Park. He said and looked at who spoke to the other lads.
Later that day
- Fuck it! He threw the morning paper against the wall and landed on the sofa. It was the day after and we were at his hotel room.
- What is it ? I asked.
- So you haven’t noticed it yet? He asked and wryly looked at the paper on the floor.
- It's only a rag, it's not like it’s gonna come up and…
I didn’t have a chance to say more because I saw the front page. It was a picture on the four of us from the day before at the restaurant.
- Come on … it’s just four friends having lunch.
- Friends?
- You know what I mean. This pic doesn’t mean anything!
- How could I let it go this far…? He whispered a little bit too loud. I was hurt and started to walk out. He looked at me when I closed the door.
, and I sat down in the hotel lobby playing some guitar when came out from the elevator.
- ! I called happily but by the look of her face I just ran up to her.
- What’s up?
- Have you read the morning paper?
- No, what about it?
- There is a picture at the four of us from yesterday, you know at the restaurant. The head line says Westlifes new Westwives?
- Okay, how did …
- How do you think?! He freaked and regrets the first time he ever touched me!
- He’s confused . You’ll have to accept that!
- But what about me? No one thinks I am confused?
She turned and ran out to go back to our motel and I went back to and and sat down.
- What’s the matter? asked me worriedly.
- saw the morning paper…
- And? said.
- There was a picture of us, you know, at the restaurant and the headline said Westlifes new Westwives…
- Oh… said.
- Oh , it’s just a silly picture! It’s not like anything happened. I’m sorry if I…
- ! Calm down! No rumours could ever affect the way I feel about you. We were out, we got caught. The news is out. I don’t care! I know where I stand!
- doesn’t… I said.
- Is it that bad?
- Seems like it.
- I could talk to him…
- No. He cannot help the way he feels. But you can be there for him as a friend.
nodded. didn’t say anything.
- Give a shot and I’ll meet you at the arena tonight. I said and kissed his cheek.
- Get a room. murmured.
slapped his arm and went to the elevator. I turned to .
- Do you hate me? I know you were pretty close to .
didn’t say a word.
- You do hate me…
- I really don't hate you, I'm just a bit confused... as well. I guess I should hate you, you stole ’s husband.
- I didn’t steel anything that didn’t want to be stolen. I snapped. He smiled at that.
- You have a sharp tongue. Bet likes it.
- …!
- Sorry. Look, likes you… a lot. I just don’t want to see him hurt anymore, you know what I mean.
- I do. And I am the last person who would hurt him!
- Okay. I believe you. Welcome to the family.
I let the cold water swill down my face and the tears got mixed up with the water that ran down my body. How could I let it go this far?
I tried not to think about it anymore but still all the feelings and thoughts grabbed my heart and it hurt like a knife. I forced myself out of the bathroom and threw myself on my bed. I pressed my head against the pillow and tried desperately not to think anymore. , and had stayed to watch the show while I went back right after work. Suddenly the tones from my mobile skirled through the room.
- …
- Hello! , are you still at the motel? I heard on the other side.
- Why?
Ten minutes later she had convinced me to come meet them up at a karaoke club. She was right, I needed to forget about things and come out for some fun. I pulled on my jeans and a white top, put on some make up and went down to take a cab. When I got into the club I immediately saw on stage singing a Faith Hill song. She waved at me and pointed towards the table and sat.
- You okay, love? asked and hugged me.
- Yeah, I’m fine.
She gave me a glass and I emptied it. It burned in my throat.
- What the hell was that!
- My secret household remedy!
When was done singing the room was filled with applause. She glittered when she approached us. Immediately there was a guy there who insisted on buying her a drink. He bought us all a drink and his friends came to join us. We were sitting there laughing for a while ‘til we felt it was time to leave. The guys followed us out on the street. I started to feel a bit uncomfortable; they were a bit intrusive, wanting us to join them to another club.
- Pleeaaassssee come with us.
- No thank you. I said and pushed him away.
- Come on, it’ll be fun! He came closer.
- Hey, buddy, that’s enough. said and pulled him away.
Suddenly I became sober. We were all alone with five drunken guys. We wouldn’t stand a chance. The guy, Trey, forced me up against a wall and pressed his lips on mine. I kicked to get free but he pinned me.
- Let her go!
Trey was pulled away and I was in the next second captured again by someone’s arms.
- You alright? asked me. I looked behind him to see the other lads protecting holding the rest of the girls while Dave held Trey in a hard grip.
Matt, another guy grabbed Dave and pulled but Dave just held on harder on the other guy who screamed out with pain.
- Matt, stop it man! He yelled.
- You know, they asked for it. Dressing like hookers all of them, we thought they wanted to…
Matt didn’t say anymore because my fist hit him hard over his mouth. I reacted so fast no one managed to stop me, not even myself. Matt screamed with blood running out of his mouth. grabbed me and pulled me behind his back when Matt lifted his fist to hit me back.
- Don’t even think about it, mate. warned and Matt, who was so drunk he could barely stand straight, reeled backwards and looked at his friends for support but they just stood there quietly.
Luckily in that moment we saw a police car approach and Dave let go of Trey so that they could run away. We just stood there until everything was back to normal.
fiercely turned to face me.
- What the hell were you thinking!!
- Well I didn’t really think! I muttered.
- You shouldn’t have hit him… what if…
- What if what!? You don't think I had the right to hit that fucking bastard? I did exactly what I had right to do. And if you got something to say against it, I'd personally…
interrupted me with a kiss.
- You stupid stupid girl, what if we hadn’t been here and he’d actually hit you back… He hissed.
- Maybe I wouldn’t have hit him if we were alone!
- What did you guys do with them anyway?
- We just had a good time, said.
- We didn’t know they were idiots. said.
- He said we dressed like hookers! I murmured and turned to me again.
- I know he did. But do not let your rage take over, for your own safety! I’d die if anything happened to you, babe. Promise me in the future to think before you act.
I looked down a little ashamed and felt like a ten year old. noticed it and decided that he didn’t need to lecture me anymore. He took a step closer and whispered:
- Hey…
I looked up again and noticed that he had a different expression in his eyes.
- I’d really like to know what you'd personally do to me if I said anything against you.
I laughed a little.
- How did you find us? asked.
- told us where you were so we decided to come here to surprise you, but it seems like you were the ones who surprised us. said.
- But no one’s in a party mood anymore, am I right? said and we all shook our heads.
- Let’s go back to the hotel. suggested.
We arrived at the hotel and went in. We went into their room and I just gasped. It was extremely luxurious and huge.
- Oh God! I haven’t slept in a comfortable bed in ages! I said and jumped on one.
- You want to sleep now? asked me from where he stood at the foot of the bed.
- No, not just yet. I grinned and sat on my knees so I could reach up to him and kiss him.
- Watch out! threw herself in one of the beds between me and . sat down next to me. I just ignored him.
- Do never scare me like that again.
He caressed my cheek.
- ... you really don't have to do this.
- I don't care; you won’t get out of my mind.
- What about the magazine?
- There are no cameras in here.
I wanted to scream and juggle him. I didn’t care about the cameras. I didn’t want him to disappear! I kept my mouth shut, not to destroy the ambience but slowly moved away from him.
After a while when I was sitting in a chair in my own little world a pillow hit my head.
- Ouch, what the hell! I yelled, flew up and looked around. had a huge grin on his face and pointed at who was whistling innocently. The next moment, the pillows crisscrossed around the room. I sighed and crawled under a cover in a bed. It was worthless trying to sleep here since the luxurious suite had turned into a complete battlefield.
- Look out ! yelled and ducked when a pillow that threw in her direction hit in the head.
- You dolt! He blurted and threw himself towards who jumped aside and flew right into the bar cabinet. Bottles and glasses hit the floor with a loud crash. The little troop of playing kids fell silent and we watched the liquor spread across the floor.
- Ups… said and scratched his head.
- Yeah, ups. Nice work lads. said and rolled his eyes.
I relaxed and thanked God it was quiet again. cleared her throat.
- Well, I think we need to clean this up.
- I’m tired! said and went for the beds.
- Guess I have to take it then… She sighed and headed for the door.
- I’ll go with you babe.
- We’re gonna go get a broom or something. You guys can start wipe the floor with paper or something and pick up the glass shards, we’ll be right back.
And with that they closed the door and and burst out in laughter laying over each other gasping for breath.
- Can you please be quiet, people wants to sleep. I said.
- Yeah, you're not the only one in here. sighed. stood up and started to sing.
- I am the one and only, nobody I'd rather be, I am the one and only!
- Naaaaaaahhh I hate that song! yelled.
didn’t stop singing and grabbed and dragged her along while she made everything to shout him down.
Twenty minutes later, the room was completely quiet and asleep but I was not.
- Mind doing me company? asked and I crawled over to him.
- You’re cold. He whispered and hugged me tightly.
I rested my head on his arm without a thought about and not being back yet.
